brush
Screaming Trees-Shadow of the Season
The hour is ending, can’t you see
There is no way now, to get free
In the shadow of the season
Without a reason, to carry on
Without a reason, without a reason
And from the north woods
Down to the valley
In a world of hurting,
I’m moving on
And from the lighthouse
Out on the ocean
Can’t climb the mountain, so very tall
Said Lord please give me what I need
He said there’s pain and misery
Oh sweet oblivion feels alright
The hour is drawing ever closer
And rolling over, won’t let me be
In the shadow of the season
To find a reason, to carry on
Said Lord please give me what I need
He said there’s pain and misery
Oh sweet oblivion
She calls me onward to her side
And feels her song deep inside
And find a reason
In the shadow of the season
To find a reason to carry on
In the shadow of the season
To find a reason to carry on
Find a reason to carry on
To carry on
To find a reason to carry on
To carry on
Oblivion-the state of being completely forgotten. That is what my handy dictionary says anyway.
This is not a Christian song. This is from a band I loved during my college years. Still do, actually. It is one of the few bands I retained when I became a Christian. I listened to some rather intense rock, and it was very angry. This band has such an incredible sound that they are hard to give up. I have the pleasure of listening to the CD while I write this. It brings back memories.
I tried to walk a straight path in college. I studied, and I excelled in everything I did. However, something was still missing, and nothing could help me avoid the empty space inside me. I found my initial release in a little music store down the road from my dorm. The first time I walked in there, I thought I was in music heaven. They sold used tapes, and for a college girl, the price was right. It allowed me to find new music I might not have otherwise.
This CD makes me thing of something else though; about the invisible wounds that are walking right past us all the time. I loved this song, I look at the lyrics now, and I think about how many of us have felt the same at one time or another. Why did I love this tape? The answer is because I could relate. The songwriter asks the Lord for what he needs and the Lord’s reply is that there’s nothing but pain and misery.
What’s not to believe in that statement? I have certainly experienced more than my share of pain and misery in my life. I have accumulated wounds from myself and wounds from others. How can we find a way to carry on?
My invisible wound is my childhood. I was abused both physically and mentally for most of my youth. It doesn’t disappear with time. It comes back in the oddest of times; when I am trying to relate to a friend, or when someone is going through remorse; with both situations, I freeze up. Some of my emotions and reactions to life have been damaged and that is something that I have to deal with in my life.
But is the answer to seek oblivion? Is the answer to blame God for misery and wallow in it until the end? Is the answer to fill the wound with drugs, sex and alcohol? Is the answer to achieve the American Dream and hide behind it? None of those helped me to permanently escape.
The sweetest paradox to Christianity for me is undeserved forgiveness. I went through my life not deserving the abuse I was handed. My life dragged on day after day, and it was hard to see the end. So, now this Christianity appears on the scene and I find out that I do not deserve anything.
Ah, but thankfully it does not end there. It turns out Jesus wants to give me forgiveness, and mercy and eternal life. I do not have to choose oblivion. God does not hand me pain and misery. Life is not all roses, but it is certainly not oblivion.
I am not angry. Instead, I feel release, peace. What is temporary trouble when eternity is right around the corner?
I think I will leave the ending up to Paul tonight. How about 2 Corinthians 5.16-20
“…We don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look, we looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly do not look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone, a new life burgeons! Look at it. All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between him and us. And then called us to sell our relationships with teach other. God put the world square with Himself through the Messiah, giving the world’s fresh state by offering forgiveness of sin”
How can I stay angry when Jesus offers to take the pain upon Himself? How can I remain oblivious to the truth? How can you? Think about it.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
rescue me
Rescue is Coming-David Crowder Band
There’s darkness in my skin
My cover’s wearing thin, I believe
I’d love to start again, go back to innocent, and never leave
Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We could be found
There’s nothing wrong with me
It’s just that I believe things could get better
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I think it’s just enough to believe
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
And there’s nothing wrong with you and nothing left to do
But believe something bigger
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I know it’s just enough to believe
Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We will be found
Rescue is coming now
Well, here we are, week whatever of my song lyrics series. I am still enjoying this immensely, and I hope you are too! I think I will continue doing this series for a while yet. I just wish I had a more varied selection of artists for your consideration. What can I say? When I like something, I like it.
I do not plan my writing in advance. I wait for God’s inspiration before I sit down here to type this. Subsequently, I sometimes am a day or two late. But I have found I cannot contrive an article based on a forced topic. When I hear the thing on which I should write, I know it immediately. And lately, I then look for a song that I think best reflects the tone.
This latest inspiration came from a Dateline special on Tuesday. I was planning on writing after I saw the show, I was just so emotionally and spiritually drained after it ended, I could do nothing but sleep.
I have been seeing a counselor at my church. We have been dealing with so many issues. One such issue that came screaming to the forefront last week was sexuality. My therapist believes that at some point in my teenage years, I went ‘dead.’ What that means in my life is that I no longer allowed anyone to detect any vulnerability lurking inside of me. It was at that point in my life when I started defining myself as a sexual being.
This is difficult to write these words tonight. See-my therapist gave me a homework assignment; to define my identity as said sexual being and describe what that meant for my life.
Well, what better avenue on which to do my homework than live on the internet, sharing it with you? In all honesty, I started this blog to be honest with people struggling to understand Christianity in the 21st century. Therefore, if a subject finds relevance in my life, it may as well in yours.
It was when I went dead that I separated love and sex. For my being, sex was a natural instinct, much as the animals possess. Sex was a means to an end, and in no way was connected to love. I defined myself as a sexual being. Sex was for enjoyment, and I was able to detach myself from any emotions other than pleasure.
I have to supply one example to demonstrate the depth of my reality. I lost my virginity to a stranger. I remembered hearing all these disgusting sob stories from women who gave up their most precious gift to who they thought would be The One; only to find him not returning her calls or telling all his friends about the wild time he had last night. Nope, I was not having any of it. I would get it over with; I would give it to someone anonymous and be able to move on in freedom.
Little did I know. I never saw the day that I would be rescued from Hell and brought to life. But here I am. How can I ever forgive myself; how can I reconcile who I was with who I am?
Here comes the Dateline episode. They are doing this series called “The Outsiders.” It is about people who choose to live their lives outside the ‘normal’ range. This particular show was about the sexual fringes.
There were swingers, strippers and asexuals. There was also a segment on kissing cousins, but that may be for a later article. The real issue on the program for me was the swingers. I used to think that sounded like fun. They certainly shared my beliefs that sex was just sex. In fact, one man said my exact words on television last night. He was asked if swinging was cheating. His answer? “Sex is sex. Not love.” He also went on to say that swinging actually strengthened marriages not destroyed them.
Oh God, if that were true then where would You fit in?
“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6.19.20
Thank you God that You would answer me with ultimate assurance that I am indeed washed clean. I am wholly restored; again new.
“All of us also lived among [the disobedient] at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace that you have been saved.” – Ephesians 2.3-5
Go back and read those lyrics again. They're for all of us. Think about it.
There’s darkness in my skin
My cover’s wearing thin, I believe
I’d love to start again, go back to innocent, and never leave
Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We could be found
There’s nothing wrong with me
It’s just that I believe things could get better
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I think it’s just enough to believe
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
And there’s nothing wrong with you and nothing left to do
But believe something bigger
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I know it’s just enough to believe
Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We will be found
Rescue is coming now
Well, here we are, week whatever of my song lyrics series. I am still enjoying this immensely, and I hope you are too! I think I will continue doing this series for a while yet. I just wish I had a more varied selection of artists for your consideration. What can I say? When I like something, I like it.
I do not plan my writing in advance. I wait for God’s inspiration before I sit down here to type this. Subsequently, I sometimes am a day or two late. But I have found I cannot contrive an article based on a forced topic. When I hear the thing on which I should write, I know it immediately. And lately, I then look for a song that I think best reflects the tone.
This latest inspiration came from a Dateline special on Tuesday. I was planning on writing after I saw the show, I was just so emotionally and spiritually drained after it ended, I could do nothing but sleep.
I have been seeing a counselor at my church. We have been dealing with so many issues. One such issue that came screaming to the forefront last week was sexuality. My therapist believes that at some point in my teenage years, I went ‘dead.’ What that means in my life is that I no longer allowed anyone to detect any vulnerability lurking inside of me. It was at that point in my life when I started defining myself as a sexual being.
This is difficult to write these words tonight. See-my therapist gave me a homework assignment; to define my identity as said sexual being and describe what that meant for my life.
Well, what better avenue on which to do my homework than live on the internet, sharing it with you? In all honesty, I started this blog to be honest with people struggling to understand Christianity in the 21st century. Therefore, if a subject finds relevance in my life, it may as well in yours.
It was when I went dead that I separated love and sex. For my being, sex was a natural instinct, much as the animals possess. Sex was a means to an end, and in no way was connected to love. I defined myself as a sexual being. Sex was for enjoyment, and I was able to detach myself from any emotions other than pleasure.
I have to supply one example to demonstrate the depth of my reality. I lost my virginity to a stranger. I remembered hearing all these disgusting sob stories from women who gave up their most precious gift to who they thought would be The One; only to find him not returning her calls or telling all his friends about the wild time he had last night. Nope, I was not having any of it. I would get it over with; I would give it to someone anonymous and be able to move on in freedom.
Little did I know. I never saw the day that I would be rescued from Hell and brought to life. But here I am. How can I ever forgive myself; how can I reconcile who I was with who I am?
Here comes the Dateline episode. They are doing this series called “The Outsiders.” It is about people who choose to live their lives outside the ‘normal’ range. This particular show was about the sexual fringes.
There were swingers, strippers and asexuals. There was also a segment on kissing cousins, but that may be for a later article. The real issue on the program for me was the swingers. I used to think that sounded like fun. They certainly shared my beliefs that sex was just sex. In fact, one man said my exact words on television last night. He was asked if swinging was cheating. His answer? “Sex is sex. Not love.” He also went on to say that swinging actually strengthened marriages not destroyed them.
Oh God, if that were true then where would You fit in?
“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6.19.20
Thank you God that You would answer me with ultimate assurance that I am indeed washed clean. I am wholly restored; again new.
“All of us also lived among [the disobedient] at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace that you have been saved.” – Ephesians 2.3-5
Go back and read those lyrics again. They're for all of us. Think about it.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
"Meant To Live"-by Switchfoot
Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly
[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
[Chorus]
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live
If you get a chance to hear this song, I think you would enjoy it. Switchfoot is sort of a younger band-they appeal to youth. However, I think they have a nice sound and a great message.
I picked this song because of a conversation I had yesterday with my mentor. I wish there were words to describe her. She is a gift from God. If you take the chance and become born again in Christ, He provides people to walk with you and essentially help raise you in Christ.
Well, my mentor has become like a mother and a best friend and a sister all wrapped up in one package. She listens to my fears, my problems, and my hopes. She helps to answer questions I have. And she does all of this without any judgment. Occasionally she will reprimand me, but it is when I really need it. Her life is similar to mine, and I can tell her anything.
So, we were having a conversation yesterday on the phone. She called, not realizing it was my first day of graduate school. I was feeling nostalgic because I was going back to the school where I learned how to walk with Christ. I went to school not knowing how to read the Bible, not understanding anything really. But I met these extraordinary people who helped raise me.
Eventually we grow up, and then we help others. We are a family; and we should accept each other’s differences with love. We are all sinners who fall short of the glory of God.
Anyway, back to the conversation. She called and my heart was overflowing with emotion; love and sorrow mixed. Sorrow only because I missed the past. But God called me to return to school because my passion is reaching out to the world, and I need more training.
When I was talking to my mentor, we started discussing what passions the Lord gave us. I started talking about my passion for reaching out to others and I started on fire. I need to world to know that the church is not full of perfect people. We are messed up, we have troubles in our marriages, we yell at our kids on the way to church sometimes.
But Jesus forgives all that-He wipes the slate clean because He loves us. He didn’t come for perfect people, but for the rest of us. With all our differences.
When I was talking about this I said, “I want to reach the people outside the church, not throw parties for those who are already inside.” I know there’s a place in the church to love and nourish the souls of the saved, but that’s not where I belong.
Well, here is what I think is the cool part. The Lord let me to read Matthew last night. And I found the most amazing thing. A passage I had never read before. I am going to write it out in both The Message Bible and the NIV Bible. God truly is in charge and he truly wants you.
“Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: ‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” –Jesus in Matthew 9.12-13
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”-Jesus in Matthew 9.12-13
Think about it.
Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly
[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
[Chorus]
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live
If you get a chance to hear this song, I think you would enjoy it. Switchfoot is sort of a younger band-they appeal to youth. However, I think they have a nice sound and a great message.
I picked this song because of a conversation I had yesterday with my mentor. I wish there were words to describe her. She is a gift from God. If you take the chance and become born again in Christ, He provides people to walk with you and essentially help raise you in Christ.
Well, my mentor has become like a mother and a best friend and a sister all wrapped up in one package. She listens to my fears, my problems, and my hopes. She helps to answer questions I have. And she does all of this without any judgment. Occasionally she will reprimand me, but it is when I really need it. Her life is similar to mine, and I can tell her anything.
So, we were having a conversation yesterday on the phone. She called, not realizing it was my first day of graduate school. I was feeling nostalgic because I was going back to the school where I learned how to walk with Christ. I went to school not knowing how to read the Bible, not understanding anything really. But I met these extraordinary people who helped raise me.
Eventually we grow up, and then we help others. We are a family; and we should accept each other’s differences with love. We are all sinners who fall short of the glory of God.
Anyway, back to the conversation. She called and my heart was overflowing with emotion; love and sorrow mixed. Sorrow only because I missed the past. But God called me to return to school because my passion is reaching out to the world, and I need more training.
When I was talking to my mentor, we started discussing what passions the Lord gave us. I started talking about my passion for reaching out to others and I started on fire. I need to world to know that the church is not full of perfect people. We are messed up, we have troubles in our marriages, we yell at our kids on the way to church sometimes.
But Jesus forgives all that-He wipes the slate clean because He loves us. He didn’t come for perfect people, but for the rest of us. With all our differences.
When I was talking about this I said, “I want to reach the people outside the church, not throw parties for those who are already inside.” I know there’s a place in the church to love and nourish the souls of the saved, but that’s not where I belong.
Well, here is what I think is the cool part. The Lord let me to read Matthew last night. And I found the most amazing thing. A passage I had never read before. I am going to write it out in both The Message Bible and the NIV Bible. God truly is in charge and he truly wants you.
“Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: ‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” –Jesus in Matthew 9.12-13
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”-Jesus in Matthew 9.12-13
Think about it.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
and He set me on fire
And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
I need to catch my breath, I need to
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now
I’m laughing so hard
-You Are My Joy, David Crowder Band
I AM SO DIGGING THIS SERIES ON SONG LYRICS!!!
If you have missed any, or you are just coming along on this ride, go back and check out the rest of the series.
Songs have a lot to say. Okay-some more than others. Even in the realm of Christian music, there are songs that make me change the channel and ponder the world for a while. But then there are songs that make my pulse quicken and my heart to beat louder. There are songs that make me realize that God is RIGHT HERE.
This song is one of them. The David Crowder Band is one of my favorite bands. The first time in heard them was in a college worship service put on by the traditional students. I, being a non-traditional student, was introduced to a new band of epic proportion.
I bought their CD and inserted it in my car’s player. I was truly shocked at first. Here was this man singing these intimate, vulnerable love songs to Jesus. I had never heard this much naked passion before.
Let’s look at the lyrics above. I want to take apart each line, because I need you to see what he’s saying, and where those of us that are sold out to Jesus are coming from.
“And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive,” For me, this is not an exaggeration. When I met Jesus, my whole life was completely changed. I used to live for nothing. Not my husband and not even my children. I was alone. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and I did not care. But when I met my Savior, and He redeemed me, my life was truly set on fire. It’s been four years since our collision and I never stop thinking about God. He incorporates my thoughts. I am on fire, and it’s that fire that propels me to write this blog and to go out into my community and tell others.
“With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.” I was devastated when I found out that it was truly His breath in my lungs. What a cosmic, eternal thought to ponder. Each breath is from Him. But this lyric also means something else for me. Something Jesus said resounds in my heart; “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” Luke 9.24 If you think your life is the beginning and the end, and you are striving to ‘have it all’ then you are chasing after the wrong prize. If you lose your life; if you turn it over to the One who gave you the breath to live in the first place; then you will live forever. Think about it this way; for His children, this life is only a moment in time.
“And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.” When my life was overtaken, taken over, I was wrecked for Jesus. My old life means nothing to me-my house, my van; sure, they’re nice to have, but they're not what control me. I am sold out, to tell you the truth. I cannot remain composed either. My joy, my passion overflows in my heart. Don’t get me wrong, my life’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We struggle financially. We still have our disagreements. But that never changes the Truth. That’s the ultimate beauty of the Lord-despite my situation, He never changes. He’s not a slot machine. You can’t put in the prayer and expect all your wishes granted. But He’s always present and He always fills you with joy and a sense of contentment that this world cannot give you.
“Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go. I am letting myself go”
This is what I’ve been writing to you-trying to tell you what this crazy Jesus thing is all about. I am head over heels in love with my Savior. I want you to mull over the word ‘redeemer.’ My handy dictionary says, ‘to get back full possession, to save from being a total failure.’ Jesus Christ came and died to get back full possession of me from the ruin I was heading toward. I am releasing control of my life because the love is overwhelming.
“You are my joy.” Well said David Crowder. He is my joy.
“If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." -Jesus
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” –Paul
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
I need to catch my breath, I need to
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now
I’m laughing so hard
-You Are My Joy, David Crowder Band
I AM SO DIGGING THIS SERIES ON SONG LYRICS!!!
If you have missed any, or you are just coming along on this ride, go back and check out the rest of the series.
Songs have a lot to say. Okay-some more than others. Even in the realm of Christian music, there are songs that make me change the channel and ponder the world for a while. But then there are songs that make my pulse quicken and my heart to beat louder. There are songs that make me realize that God is RIGHT HERE.
This song is one of them. The David Crowder Band is one of my favorite bands. The first time in heard them was in a college worship service put on by the traditional students. I, being a non-traditional student, was introduced to a new band of epic proportion.
I bought their CD and inserted it in my car’s player. I was truly shocked at first. Here was this man singing these intimate, vulnerable love songs to Jesus. I had never heard this much naked passion before.
Let’s look at the lyrics above. I want to take apart each line, because I need you to see what he’s saying, and where those of us that are sold out to Jesus are coming from.
“And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive,” For me, this is not an exaggeration. When I met Jesus, my whole life was completely changed. I used to live for nothing. Not my husband and not even my children. I was alone. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and I did not care. But when I met my Savior, and He redeemed me, my life was truly set on fire. It’s been four years since our collision and I never stop thinking about God. He incorporates my thoughts. I am on fire, and it’s that fire that propels me to write this blog and to go out into my community and tell others.
“With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.” I was devastated when I found out that it was truly His breath in my lungs. What a cosmic, eternal thought to ponder. Each breath is from Him. But this lyric also means something else for me. Something Jesus said resounds in my heart; “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” Luke 9.24 If you think your life is the beginning and the end, and you are striving to ‘have it all’ then you are chasing after the wrong prize. If you lose your life; if you turn it over to the One who gave you the breath to live in the first place; then you will live forever. Think about it this way; for His children, this life is only a moment in time.
“And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.” When my life was overtaken, taken over, I was wrecked for Jesus. My old life means nothing to me-my house, my van; sure, they’re nice to have, but they're not what control me. I am sold out, to tell you the truth. I cannot remain composed either. My joy, my passion overflows in my heart. Don’t get me wrong, my life’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We struggle financially. We still have our disagreements. But that never changes the Truth. That’s the ultimate beauty of the Lord-despite my situation, He never changes. He’s not a slot machine. You can’t put in the prayer and expect all your wishes granted. But He’s always present and He always fills you with joy and a sense of contentment that this world cannot give you.
“Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go. I am letting myself go”
This is what I’ve been writing to you-trying to tell you what this crazy Jesus thing is all about. I am head over heels in love with my Savior. I want you to mull over the word ‘redeemer.’ My handy dictionary says, ‘to get back full possession, to save from being a total failure.’ Jesus Christ came and died to get back full possession of me from the ruin I was heading toward. I am releasing control of my life because the love is overwhelming.
“You are my joy.” Well said David Crowder. He is my joy.
“If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." -Jesus
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” –Paul
Friday, August 18, 2006
what a fool
Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads
-Rich Mullins, “Let Mercy Lead”
I am really starting to dig this song lyrics series. Worshipping Jesus through music is really something that works for me. I hope you are enjoying it as well.
Let’s start with some definitions today. I know they help me to grasp what biblical writers were truly trying to say. It also helps me to understand words that seem foreign to me really mean. Like fool. Why would anyone call God a fool? When I read the definition below, I begin to understand.
Mercy: a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion, compassionate treatment of those in distress.
Fool: one with a marked propensity or fondness for something
I love this song. When I first heard it, I was seriously confused. I had never heard anyone mention God’s foolishness. Furthermore, I did not know what it was. How could God be foolish? How could I be foolish?
Those were things I used to think. Now, foolishness is a beautiful word to me. While I write this, I am searching for the words that can explain what foolishness means to me. Forgive me if I seem vague. I want so much to tell you how wonderful the foolishness of God and His children can really be.
Foolishness. To send your only Son to earth to die. Not only to die, but to be beaten before and sent to Hell afterward.
Foolishness. To love people who turn away from You. To be willing to forgive sin, wipe away our pasts; if we are only willing.
Foolishness. To be eternally optimistic. To shine down on us. To smile down on us.
Our lives in Christ require a foolish God who has much mercy for us. I am an example of a person who needs many second chances. Why does He love me? Why is He after my heart?
The answer. Because He is. Because He is truly a God of love. We make the choice to follow when He calls. And when we turn our faces to Him, He is in love with us.
So, if I know that God is foolishly in love with me, what is my response? Do I approach Christianity with logic and direction? Is there a formula to follow? And, after I decide to love Him too, how shall I do that?
Let me quote something I found in my devotional I read. Perhaps it can explain it better.
“…rid yourself before God of everything that might be considered a possession until you are a mere conscious human being standing before Him, and then give God that. That is where the battle is truly fought-in the realm of your will before God. Are you more devoted to your idea of what Jesus wants than to Jesus Himself?”-Oswald Chambers
Foolishness. The decision to give up everything that the world deems necessary. A house, a car, possessions. What a foolish idea-giving up the American dream!
Foolishness. Stripping down your life until you are bare before Christ. Not even having a care of where He will take you. Trusting enough in this mercy so that you lay your life in His hands, knowing it will be good.
Foolishness. Caring about the world as much as He does. Feeding the poor, washing the dirty, loving the loveless. Abandoning fear and apprehension and jumping in. Tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.
“Although their foolish hearts may break-they will find peace.”
I cannot lie and say that this is easy. I struggle so much. I want to give myself to Jesus but I want to be in charge. I want to make sure my work for Him is important (in my standards) and that people notice what I am doing. That’s foolish in the traditional sense. My worth is not measured by human standards. It is measured by God’s foolishness.
And so is yours. Think about it.
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads
-Rich Mullins, “Let Mercy Lead”
I am really starting to dig this song lyrics series. Worshipping Jesus through music is really something that works for me. I hope you are enjoying it as well.
Let’s start with some definitions today. I know they help me to grasp what biblical writers were truly trying to say. It also helps me to understand words that seem foreign to me really mean. Like fool. Why would anyone call God a fool? When I read the definition below, I begin to understand.
Mercy: a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion, compassionate treatment of those in distress.
Fool: one with a marked propensity or fondness for something
I love this song. When I first heard it, I was seriously confused. I had never heard anyone mention God’s foolishness. Furthermore, I did not know what it was. How could God be foolish? How could I be foolish?
Those were things I used to think. Now, foolishness is a beautiful word to me. While I write this, I am searching for the words that can explain what foolishness means to me. Forgive me if I seem vague. I want so much to tell you how wonderful the foolishness of God and His children can really be.
Foolishness. To send your only Son to earth to die. Not only to die, but to be beaten before and sent to Hell afterward.
Foolishness. To love people who turn away from You. To be willing to forgive sin, wipe away our pasts; if we are only willing.
Foolishness. To be eternally optimistic. To shine down on us. To smile down on us.
Our lives in Christ require a foolish God who has much mercy for us. I am an example of a person who needs many second chances. Why does He love me? Why is He after my heart?
The answer. Because He is. Because He is truly a God of love. We make the choice to follow when He calls. And when we turn our faces to Him, He is in love with us.
So, if I know that God is foolishly in love with me, what is my response? Do I approach Christianity with logic and direction? Is there a formula to follow? And, after I decide to love Him too, how shall I do that?
Let me quote something I found in my devotional I read. Perhaps it can explain it better.
“…rid yourself before God of everything that might be considered a possession until you are a mere conscious human being standing before Him, and then give God that. That is where the battle is truly fought-in the realm of your will before God. Are you more devoted to your idea of what Jesus wants than to Jesus Himself?”-Oswald Chambers
Foolishness. The decision to give up everything that the world deems necessary. A house, a car, possessions. What a foolish idea-giving up the American dream!
Foolishness. Stripping down your life until you are bare before Christ. Not even having a care of where He will take you. Trusting enough in this mercy so that you lay your life in His hands, knowing it will be good.
Foolishness. Caring about the world as much as He does. Feeding the poor, washing the dirty, loving the loveless. Abandoning fear and apprehension and jumping in. Tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.
“Although their foolish hearts may break-they will find peace.”
I cannot lie and say that this is easy. I struggle so much. I want to give myself to Jesus but I want to be in charge. I want to make sure my work for Him is important (in my standards) and that people notice what I am doing. That’s foolish in the traditional sense. My worth is not measured by human standards. It is measured by God’s foolishness.
And so is yours. Think about it.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
at the cross we remember
So, we pick up where we left off last week. I started this week feeling lost and alone. I did not have an answer to the question I posed last week; which was, “How can we handle our lives knowing Jesus is truly right beside us?”
Well, after talking with friends and counselors, I believe with my whole being that it comes down to this:
Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
From the album Sweetly Broken
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is loveAnd God is just
Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
Chorus:
In awe of the cross I must confessHow wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness(2x’s)Chorus:
Label: Vineyard Music
That’s it. I have to cling to the cross and never let go. See, I kept trying to find the “secret” that would give me the faith to keep going. To believe all of this Christianity stuff was really worth something.
My heart knows the truth. My heart remembers what Jesus has done for me. how He pulled me out of a life of misery. How He saved me from myself-when I didn’t even realize what a disaster my life had become.
But my head wants to argue. My whole life people have let me down, turned away. I couldn’t stand the idea that God would grow tired of me and move on to someone better.
But when I come to the Cross; when I come to the place where precious blood was literally poured out for us; I can not longer argue.
I have to let the Cross speak for itself. I cannot give words to the price Jesus paid for us. How He wants to gather His children and spend eternity with us. So He lent Himself to torture and death; knowing the victory would be ours in the end.
So, I end this story with the chorus of another song. Consider it a bonus. If you ever search out a song, please listen to this one. It’s by Robin Mark and it’s called, “Wonder of Your Cross.” He sings these lyrics like a lullaby-like an offering.
The cross, O the wonderful cross
What Glory, what victory, I've found
I'll come to the wonderful cross
And my whole life I lay down
Well, after talking with friends and counselors, I believe with my whole being that it comes down to this:
Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
From the album Sweetly Broken
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is loveAnd God is just
Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
Chorus:
In awe of the cross I must confessHow wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness(2x’s)Chorus:
Label: Vineyard Music
That’s it. I have to cling to the cross and never let go. See, I kept trying to find the “secret” that would give me the faith to keep going. To believe all of this Christianity stuff was really worth something.
My heart knows the truth. My heart remembers what Jesus has done for me. how He pulled me out of a life of misery. How He saved me from myself-when I didn’t even realize what a disaster my life had become.
But my head wants to argue. My whole life people have let me down, turned away. I couldn’t stand the idea that God would grow tired of me and move on to someone better.
But when I come to the Cross; when I come to the place where precious blood was literally poured out for us; I can not longer argue.
I have to let the Cross speak for itself. I cannot give words to the price Jesus paid for us. How He wants to gather His children and spend eternity with us. So He lent Himself to torture and death; knowing the victory would be ours in the end.
So, I end this story with the chorus of another song. Consider it a bonus. If you ever search out a song, please listen to this one. It’s by Robin Mark and it’s called, “Wonder of Your Cross.” He sings these lyrics like a lullaby-like an offering.
The cross, O the wonderful cross
What Glory, what victory, I've found
I'll come to the wonderful cross
And my whole life I lay down
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
sometimes we forget
Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
-Rich Mullins, “Hold me Jesus”
Sorry, another long song. Please take the time to read it all. I needed to give you the whole song because it makes so much sense to me. I actually was going to give you another song, but the Lord led me to this one. It works.
Sometimes I forget. God has presenting Himself so many times in my life, but here I sit waiting for more. I listen to songs about Jesus, I work at a church, and sometimes I still forget. Things we cannot see can sometimes lose out to our life that actually is playing out all around us.
When I am tempted by pornography, or I think back to my chemically induced haze, I feel like I am lost all over again. And I forget.
But take heart dear soul, because I am not the only one to forget. If you take your handy Bible and you look through some of the first stories, you find some people who forgot big time. I will show you a few.
Let us set up the story. Moses has been told to lead God’s people, the Israelites, out of Egypt and into their promised land. Remember that in Egypt, these people were slaves, and they were not treated very nice at all.
Ok. So Moses is leading them out. God has a great big helping hand in this endeavor. Let’s look at a couple of examples of God in this adventure. They’re walking through the desert and-
“By day the Lord went ahead of them on their way in a pillar of cloud to guide them and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.”-Exodus 13.21-22
Imagine God in front of you like that. Could you forget it?
Here is another one. This time, the Egyptians want their slaves back so they start chasing Moses and his followers. They reach the sea and panic. Maybe you have heard of Moses parting the red sea. Here is how it is portrayed in the Bible-
“Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land.” Exodus 14.21-22 imagine that, walking through the sea, it raging on either side of you. Could you forget?
One more. The people are grumbling that they had it better off in Egypt. They are hungry. So what does God do?
“I will rain down bread from heaven for you.” Says God.
What luck. These people knew that the Lord loved them. How could they not? It was evident every day that God was front and center, loving them, feeding them, guiding them. Could you forget?
“…the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the Lord saying, Is the Lord among us or not?” Exodus 17.7 What? How could they not know God was among them?
Again. Moses goes up a mountain to meet with the Lord. He is gone for a while. Here is what happened.
“When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, ‘Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.”-Exodus 32.1
Can you believe that? They ended up making a golden calf to worship. Which make God pretty angry. Not surprising.
I often wonder how they could forget God so easily. He rained down bread from heaven to feed them and they forgot Him. They had it so easy compared to us now. Now we have to believe something we cannot see at all. How can we handle our lives knowing Jesus is truly right beside us?
I will tell you next week!
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
-Rich Mullins, “Hold me Jesus”
Sorry, another long song. Please take the time to read it all. I needed to give you the whole song because it makes so much sense to me. I actually was going to give you another song, but the Lord led me to this one. It works.
Sometimes I forget. God has presenting Himself so many times in my life, but here I sit waiting for more. I listen to songs about Jesus, I work at a church, and sometimes I still forget. Things we cannot see can sometimes lose out to our life that actually is playing out all around us.
When I am tempted by pornography, or I think back to my chemically induced haze, I feel like I am lost all over again. And I forget.
But take heart dear soul, because I am not the only one to forget. If you take your handy Bible and you look through some of the first stories, you find some people who forgot big time. I will show you a few.
Let us set up the story. Moses has been told to lead God’s people, the Israelites, out of Egypt and into their promised land. Remember that in Egypt, these people were slaves, and they were not treated very nice at all.
Ok. So Moses is leading them out. God has a great big helping hand in this endeavor. Let’s look at a couple of examples of God in this adventure. They’re walking through the desert and-
“By day the Lord went ahead of them on their way in a pillar of cloud to guide them and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.”-Exodus 13.21-22
Imagine God in front of you like that. Could you forget it?
Here is another one. This time, the Egyptians want their slaves back so they start chasing Moses and his followers. They reach the sea and panic. Maybe you have heard of Moses parting the red sea. Here is how it is portrayed in the Bible-
“Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land.” Exodus 14.21-22 imagine that, walking through the sea, it raging on either side of you. Could you forget?
One more. The people are grumbling that they had it better off in Egypt. They are hungry. So what does God do?
“I will rain down bread from heaven for you.” Says God.
What luck. These people knew that the Lord loved them. How could they not? It was evident every day that God was front and center, loving them, feeding them, guiding them. Could you forget?
“…the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the Lord saying, Is the Lord among us or not?” Exodus 17.7 What? How could they not know God was among them?
Again. Moses goes up a mountain to meet with the Lord. He is gone for a while. Here is what happened.
“When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, ‘Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.”-Exodus 32.1
Can you believe that? They ended up making a golden calf to worship. Which make God pretty angry. Not surprising.
I often wonder how they could forget God so easily. He rained down bread from heaven to feed them and they forgot Him. They had it so easy compared to us now. Now we have to believe something we cannot see at all. How can we handle our lives knowing Jesus is truly right beside us?
I will tell you next week!
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