How can I do anything but Worship?

Worship:
2: reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also: an act of expressing such reverence
3: a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual
4: extravagant respect or admiration for

I have to start out a bit differently this evening. As regular readers know, I try my best to update on Tuesdays, but last night I was overcome with sleepiness. Tonight was beginning to look the same. I was finishing up with my studies while listening to talk radio, as I normally do. After I completed my notes, I went and showered, leaving the stereo on. I tried to time my shower to coincide with the hourly news as to not miss too much of the talk program. I had just finished drying my hair and was turning the bathroom light off when I heard the stereo rapidly changing channels. I heard a snippet of some rap song, a shot of Aerosmith and something in Spanish before the stereo just stopped at the local Christian channel; in all the stereo changed channels at least 8 or nine times.. At first I was paranoid, as I was in the house alone with my kids sleeping downstairs. Then, I looked for a cat stepping on the remote. Nope. The remote was tucked underneath my Bible, just where I had left it.

Needless to say, I immediately went to my computer to compose this message. I have no doubt that God changed my radio station. I am a completely cynical person, and after exhausting every other possible reason for the channel changing, I come to the conclusion it was Him.

See, I have been having a worship problem lately. I constantly revert to thinking I can do things on my own. Why do I need Christian music when there is a presidential election going on in the country? Well, why do I need air to breathe?

I do not think the definition above does justice for what creatures born to worship are meant to do. I looked up reverence and found this, profound adoring awed respect. That is a bit better.

In the spirit of this peculiar posting, I offer up an entirely different word that I think embodies what worship is truly meant to be.

Rhapsody
-an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm.
-an unusually intense or irregular poem or piece of prose.
-exalted literary composition
-freeform musical composition; often irregular in form, emotional in effect and improvisational in nature

Something in my spirit erupts when I think of the word rhapsody. Yes, worship music, prayer; all those things can bring me into worship for the Lord. But they can also cause me to simply go through the motions.

Here is a more archaic definition for worship: foolish or excessive adulation for an individual. When King David of the Old Testament saw the ark of the Lord entering his city, he disrobed, leapt, and danced before the Lord. When he was criticized for this, he replied, “I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.” (2 Samuel 6.22)

See, he did not care what others thought. He wanted to praise His God. And I think that is what people are looking for today. Not nakedness, but naked humbleness and naked adoration.

I have tried to ride the emotional waves of worship the way I thought I should. I would get all pumped up from a song or a sermon, and expect them to carry me the distance. Inevitably, they let me down. Then I would become discouraged and sulk in a corner, licking my wounds. The cycle would begin over and over. And tonight the Lord turned my stereo.

I do not believe it was because He wants me to start another cycle. No, He wants to remind me that worship cannot be forced, but embraced. How can I not embrace His presence with me right now? And these words that spill out on my page are indeed a rhapsody to the Lord.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” –Jesus

Thanks for everything

THANK
1. to express gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment to
2. thank God; used to express relief, thankfulness, etc)
3. a grateful feeling or acknowledgment of a benefit, favor, or the like, expressed by word or otherwise

Just as a reminder, I am in the middle of a series of words I copied off a banner in a church several years. Ironically, I am thankful for that list this week. I am thankful because the list somewhat forces me to stay on task, defining what this particular word means to me and my relationship with God. I may not have thought to write about this word otherwise.

I just found out today that another person who has been instrumental in my walk with Christ is being removed from my immediate proximity. This person was a key figure in opening my eyes beyond the rigid, black and white Christianity I was in danger of adopting. At first, I found his ideas and theological practices a bit intimidating and I was concerned about his ways of thinking, of praying and of relating to his Savior.

God allowed my eyes to be opened through these experiences. I did my own research, and I found a refreshing return to authentic, disciple-making Christianity. I sought God through practices I had never thought would be as meaningful as they were. Christ met me in places where I quite possibly never would have seen Him.

This is not the first time this has happened. As you may have noticed two paragraphs above, I wrote that this was another person who God has chosen to remove from my life. I realize that with both people I was not the only one to be affected, this blog happens to be about my journey with God, so I can only speak from my experience.

The other one was my mentor, who I write about frequently on this journal. God placed her in my life at a crucial time in my faith journey. I had a million and one questions about who this God was I was trying to worship and she was there for me. No, she could not always answer my questions. Nevertheless, she was always there for me to support me, to cry with me, and most importantly, to pray with me. Through her, I learned that God was Someone holy, Someone righteous and Someone who would never leave me. God used her to build a foundation that my faith could grow on.

Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows my life verse is Romans 3.23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” God burned it on my heart that no one is more worthy of salvation, of His love, of His mercy than I am. No one did ‘it’ better than I did. There is no such thing as a 'super-Christian.' We are all sinners and none of us can reach Him without Him reaching out to us first. It is why I know my life's mission is to reach out to those who feel they could never fit in a church or that God couldn't use them.

Well, neither of these God-people thought they were better, or more righteous than I was. Neither of them were judgmental, (until one of them found out that I occasionally listen to Rush Limbaugh). Both of them were kind in their teaching, treated me as an equal and were completely human in their actions.

So why does God chose to remove those who seem so crucial to our lives? Wouldn’t life be so much simpler if these people were constantly around to feed my spiritual life? I know they were essential to my spiritual life when they were around.

Maybe that is it. Maybe for me to grow closer to God. To get to know Him better I need to reach out to Him for comfort and growth. That’s not to say that He did not place those people in my life, because He did. But that was just for a season it seems, and now that season is over.

I have to believe that I have grown because of both of these people. I know that my spiritual life has evolved and grown because of them. I have developed a dependence on God because of my mentor. And I have honed and clarified my heart for social justice and compassion because of the other. I have to believe that God will continue to meld the pieces together and make me a better disciple of His because of it.

So with one gone and another on his way, I have to thank God for my time with them. I thank Him that He did not just leave me to my own devices and to flounder on my own. I thank Him that He has children walking around that have such a heart for helping people reach closer to Jesus. And I have to thank God in advance for the next person He brings into my life.