There Will Be A Day

Wonder
1 a: a cause of astonishment or admiration: marvel
2: the quality of exciting amazed admiration
3 a: rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience b: a feeling of doubt or uncertainty

It was on the ride to the funeral home that the song by Jeremy Camp came on the radio. The sky was dreary, as was my mood. We were going to say our final good-bye to one of the strongest pillars; the foundation of my life; my grandmother. I and my family had spent the previous day attending her wake. It was a long, painful day, full of tears and grief. This day, we were heading to the funeral home to pray over her, close her casket and take her to church one last time.

To aid in my healing, and to take you on a brief journey of the woman who helped raise me as another of her daughters, I will share with you the lyrics of the song, “There Will Be A Day.”

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab

My relationship with my own mother was a distressed one to put it mildly. She spiraled into a deep depression after my father left us, and she did not do well with single parenting. My grandmother picked up some of the strain by taking me into her home quite a bit. It was there I was able to find comfort, solace, and love. I would wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon cooking, and my grandfather saying, “Hey kid, are you every going to get up?” Life there seemed more normal.

The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

My grandmother took me on trips with her; allowing me to escape from the horrors that were my life at home. She took me to Disney World with my youngest aunt, who became more like a sister to me than anything. I have pictures of her and I with clown make-up, which I’m sure disguises the pain I suffered from at the time. My grandmother took me to see caves with marvelous sights and took me to wonderful hotels and a restaurant on the side of a hill where I ate food I had never heard of. When I was in Junior High School, she took me to Iowa, where we explored colleges I might attend. She helped me believe there could be life for me beyond the trouble I saw all around me.

And even though I moved away from my home state, onto a life of my own, I never stopped loving the woman who helped that to happen. Now she was gone. Forever. I could never tell her again how much she meant to me, how much she did for me.

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

It was my grandmother who I watched live her life with a stoic grace that I have always attempted to emulate. She was pragmatic; she was strong; stronger than anyone I had ever known. She bore the pain of shingles without sharing much of her pain, even though it was excruciating. And when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, she would hardly allow anyone to grieve for her. “It is what it is,” she would tell me. And when I told her I had many people praying for her, she said, “Thanks, I need all the help I can get.”

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

It was my grandmother’s face I saw when I awoke from a coma two Decembers ago. She was standing at the end of my hospital bed, looking down at me. My mother was there too, a weepy mess. But my grandmother was not crying, she was looking at me as if to tell me I could overcome this obstacle in my life, as I had overcome so much more already. She stayed in that hospital for two weeks, only leaving once to go eat with my husband. Otherwise, she slept in the family waiting areas, holding vigil for the granddaughter she loved so much.

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you're walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you've walked out all alone

As I mentioned before, it was my grandmother who helped me escape my past and move onto my future. I had decided to go to college in Minnesota. She was the one who got on a plane with me to an airport 40 miles away, and then drove a rental car to Winona. Together we saw the beautiful valleys, the majestic bluffs that surrounded the college town. She took me to meet the professors and the people that would award me my scholarships. She looked upon me with such pride; I knew I could never fail her.

Troubled soul don't lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that's in store
Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

But I did. I strayed from college, turning for a while to drugs to ease the pain of life. She would talk to me from time to time, asking me when I was going to get back up and start over. She rejoiced when I finally did, sending me the most beautiful card when I got married, a card that spoke to me that she understood my relationship with Jesus, and that she celebrated that joy with me. She rejoiced again when I graduated from college, 10 years later, and lamented her hurt leg that would not allow her to come and celebrate with me.

I can't wait until that day where the very one I've lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing

I began to grieve for my grandmother when she had a stroke. Even though it had ravaged her, she still held an inner strength and dignity I pray I will have when my days come to a close. This time, I was the one standing over her hospital bed, telling her that she too could overcome this obstacle.

And she did, too. She went home, where there is no more suffering, no more pain, and no more grief. I pray she knew in her heart how much of an affect she had on this one life, what an impact she had for good that branches off into shoots that are her grand-grandchildren. There will be a day I will be able to tell her this, I know.

He'll wipe away the tears. He'll wipe away the tears. He'll wipe away the tears.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21.4