A letter to my daughter


I’ve wanted to sit down and write this letter for a while. It crosses my mind when you leave for school, or when you go downstairs to your room after talking with me. I think about it when I see you on stage, or when you’re laughing and having fun with your friends; whispering and making faces at each other.

I never wrote it because part of me didn’t want to. And it’s that part of me that needs to talk to you. The part of me that aches and yearns for something different. It’s a part that God still needs to heal.

I was always afraid to have a daughter. When you were born, and the doctor told me you were a girl, I was in shock for a few minutes. See, my mother didn’t exactly have the capabilities to raise me as a mother should. She was a single parent, and she was severely depressed for quite a while. I can’t really say we got along well.

As soon as I could, I got out of there. In all those years growing up, I never learned how a mother and daughter should relate to each other. I certainly knew how a dysfunctional relationship worked, but never a real one.

But I didn’t want you to have to suffer the same kind of childhood and adolescence I did. I wanted you to be able to play with friends, ride your bicycle outside, and go to parties and field trips. I was never able to do any of those things. I wanted you to have nice clothes; ones you were proud to wear. I didn’t want you to be ashamed of your outfits like I was. I wanted you to have control of your hair length and what you wore, unlike I had.

And I did my best to give you all of that. Your father and I have worked hard to provide you everything you wanted and needed up to a point. We did not want you spoiled, and I don’t think you are.

Rather, I think you’re an amazing young lady. You’re smart, pretty, funny and I think you have a great future ahead of you. I also think we have a great relationship, most of the time. It’s those little time when I have to hold myself at bay that I wanted to write about.

All of those things I never got to do; never got to wear; never got to feel, those resentments have been bottled up in me since I was a child. I was lonely for most of my life until the later part of high school. I was an outcast; in my boys’ jeans, overly long hair, and shy demeanor. My home life was awful, and I reflected that in my daily life. Because my father threatened to kidnap me when he moved out, my mother became overly protective of me and didn’t let me play outside with other kids, and never really let me out of her sight. I was miserable.

To put it plainly, the little girl in me resents the life you have. It’s my heart as a mother to show you life as it was meant to be in God’s eyes. It’s that little girl that gets upset when she sees you having the life she always wanted to have. Truthfully, she’s jealous when you get to have the fun she should have been having.

None of that is your fault. It’s a regrettable part of my history that I cannot erase. God had a plan to redeem all of this just as He is able to redeem all things in Him. He’s using some of it now, helping troubled teens find Jesus and turn to Him while they’re still young.

I want you to know that I am working on it. I am living proof of a completely broken life that Jesus is in the process of redeeming and restoring. He does make all things new, I know that.

And I am praying. I am praying that Jesus would continue to comfort that little girl who wishes her life was more like yours. I’m praying that He continues to show me that the sins of the past stop at this generation. I’m praying that because of Him, you don’t need to go the long way around like I did.

Know also that I am working to pray when I feel those certain feelings pop up. My worst fear would be that you feel anything like I did growing up. The good news is that you already know you’re a princess of the King.


But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." – Matthew 19.14


“I have written to you, children, because you have known the Father. I have written to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. I have written to you who are young because you are strong with God's word living in your hearts, and you have won your battle with Satan.” – 1 John 2.14


So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into his family -- calling him "Father, dear Father." – Romans 8.15

And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.”