WILL- verb

From the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
1. used to express desire, choice, willingness, consent
2. used to express frequent, customary, or habitual action or natural tendency or disposition
4. used to express capability or sufficiency
6. used to express determination, insistence, persistence, or willfulness

“If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7.11

The man with leprosy

“A man came and knelt before [Jesus] and said, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.’
Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing’ he said. ‘Be clean!’ Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.” Matthew 8.2-3


God gave me the first scripture verse this morning. I decided to go on a prayer retreat. I figured this would be my last attempt at salvaging my relationship with Him. See, I am currently a shell of the woman I was three months ago. Three months ago I was in graduate school, I was deacon of Women’s Ministry at my church, and I taught a new believers class. I felt that spiritually, I was at the top of my game.

Apparently not. As you may or may not know, I had a stroke in December. I was in a coma for a length of time, and went through a long series of physical therapies to regain my strength.
And here is where the dilemma arose. When I returned to church, I started hearing phrases like, ‘Well here’s our walking miracle.’ And ‘This event really strengthened my faith.’ But I felt nothing. No walks in heaven when I was in the coma and no deep spiritual awakening when I woke up.

It took a very wise woman to say, ‘Maybe this wasn’t about you. Maybe God is working through you.’ Ouch. That had never occurred to me. Unfortunately, that revelation did not spark a renewed desire to speak to God, or to go into His word. I remained an island unto myself. I retreated into a corner to lick my wounds. To avoid spiritual small talk, I started ignoring people. I would walk into church with my head down.
God had effectively stripped away all the good things I was doing for Him. I had not even realized how all my thoughts and desires for God was stemming from my head and not my heart. Now I was naked with nothing to show for my efforts.

Now, back to today’s story. At the retreat, we gathered in a room to discuss the day’s plan. We would go somewhere where we could meet God in the stillness of ourselves. Scripture reading, journaling, even drawing was suggested methods of connecting with Him. As I was leaving the classroom to start my retreat, I heard ‘Matthew 7.11’ in my head. It was quite audible. I was convinced it was I doing the thinking, and I tried not to get my hopes up. I thought, ‘I’m sure it’s some passage like, ‘Jesus was out walking the streets.’

When I read the verse, the word ‘will’ spoke to my heart. Immediately I thought about will being a word to describe the action of willingness to do something. You have to be willing in order to give. Otherwise, it is forcing as the action. This passage tells me that God is willing to be an active force in my life. He has the natural tendency and the sufficiency to meet me right where I am. And He is extremely capable and persistent at pursuing me even when I avoid Him.
So, my next thought is, What am I willing to give Him in return? Can I really trust Him with my heart? Trust Him to take away all the hurts inflicted by those who abused me and those who were complacent abandoners? Am I willing to trust that He is right beside me every step of the way? Most importantly, can I be willing to hand over the pain so that He might seek vengeance for me? Can I dare take a chance to believe He will not be another one who has let me down?

The writer Henri Nouwen said, “Faith is the radical trust that home has always been there and always will be there.” Am I willing to abandon my service for my love?

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Psalm 51.12

“If anyone is (willing) chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own.” John 7.17

And I finish for now with the word of the great Saint Augustine; “Understanding is the reward of faith…What is, ‘If any man be willing to do His will?’ It is the same thing as to believe.