WHO I AM
The interesting thing to me is that people feel they are 'too sinful' to commit their lives to Christ. I remember when I used to think that way. When I started in a church, I was afraid to tell my story because I thought people would tell me to leave; that God hadn't really accepted such a sinner as myself. I thought people would gasp in shock at my story. Well, actually, people did gasp at my story. But that's only because you can't look at the person I am now and imagine the person I was.
I think it's only fair to those of you who are reading this know who I am; my 'Christ credentials' if you will. He has done such a mighty work in my life and the lives of those in my family. Every time I write this story, or tell someone, I am humbled and amazed all over again. Why me? Well, that's just His grace and mercy in action. I'll write about those two powerful words another day. For now, my story of His glory.
I could start from the beginning, when I was little, but it would take too long. To sum it up in one sentence; I grew up poor, fatherless and abused. The one thing that happened to me at age eleven was that my Godfather, who was born again, brought me to church where I accepted Christ as my Savior. Then I forgot all about it.
Flash forward to age eighteen. I was by then a drug addict, mostly pot and LSD. I dropped out of college by nineteen and got an apartment. I then met a guy who introduced me to crack. Up to then, I has used coke a few times, and even meth, but it never became a hard addiction. I thought I was safe with crack, invincible even. Boy was I wrong. Crack took me on a death spiral that only God could save me from. My most memorable experience? When a gang of thugs pulled a gun and pointed it at my head. I was in a dark alley late at night, what stopped them from shooting me? I thought back then that I just got lucky, but it was Him.
I had quit using for the twentieth time when I met my now husband. He made it a little harder to use because he was not a junkie. No, quite the opposite; he wanted to be a cop. So, I managed to stay off the drugs, mostly because I became pregnant. Looking back, I can also see that God's hand was involved with my pregnancy and our decision not to abort our unborn child.
Well, my daughter was born, and then I went to work at a bar. Not a great place for someone like me. I was back to smoking pot and also added drinking to the list of addictions this time. I tried to leave my fiance dozens of times throughout this, but somehow we always patched things up. In the middle of all this, our son was born. He did not enter into a great relationship by any stretch. I was out all the time, and my fiance hated it. He was always angry with me, and I could never understand why.
Flash forward through years of drinking and fighting to three years ago. I was ready to leave him for good this time. I had a new man in my life, and we were going to rent a house together. I had enough of the cop at home always telling me what to do and demanding that I get my life in order. The best solution was to get him out of my life for good.
I was thwarted at the last minute. The jerk lost his job. I couldn't stomach kicking a man when he was down. The new man and I decided to postpone our new lives until my soon-to-be-ex could find a new job, then I was out of there. Little did I know what God's plan would be...
THE POINT IS TO BE CONTINUED...
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
HOUSEKEEPING MEMO.
I have been told that it is tough to post a comment to this blog. I have changed the settings so that anyone can post a comment without setting up a username etc. etc. If nasty spam shows up, I'll have to change it back. For now, I wanted to make it easier to post comments (please) .
THANKS AND GOD BLESS
I have been told that it is tough to post a comment to this blog. I have changed the settings so that anyone can post a comment without setting up a username etc. etc. If nasty spam shows up, I'll have to change it back. For now, I wanted to make it easier to post comments (please) .
THANKS AND GOD BLESS
Sunday, September 25, 2005
SO MUCH BLOOD
From the outside looking in, a Christian can resemble a vampire. Or, a member of a blood-fetish organization. What is the deal of our obsession with blood?
When I first became the Lord's, I had no idea why Christ followers talked about the Blood so much. There were songs about it, there were sermons about it, and there were even prayers about it. The prayers were the creepiest to me; people would actually pray to be covered in the Blood of Jesus. I was baffled by the constant references to blood.
I knew nothing of Christianity before I gave my life to Christ. Years of Confirmation classes and even parochial school taught me little of who Christ really was, and what He should mean to me. So, when the Lord called me on that life-changing day, I was completely clueless. I was very much the child that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 18.3. I really enjoyed those days because the only thing I knew was that God was huge, and He was really in my life in a personal, apparent way. I acted on blind faith and He was able to do so much to make things right in my life. Even though this message is on blood, I find it necessary to write about one of the most important things I learned about the Lord early on. He does not force Himself on anyone. He is the utmost of gentlemen. He will always wait until you ask Him in, and then He can do a mighty work. Until then, He waits patiently at the door. He creates circumstances, but He never forces. But remember, you don't know how many days you have to open that door.
So what's with the obsession with blood anyhow? I was uncomfortable, critical, and even a little repulsed; until I found out how important that blood really is.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
Well, what amazingly crucial thing does Jesus Himself tell us about His precious blood?
"This is the blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Matt 26.28) I cannot even count the number of times I heard that in church, and it never meant anything to me. But read it again and think about it. This is Jesus' promise, His vow, His ultimate bonding of His children to Himself. The blood that He shed at Calvary is His precious promise to me, and to you; that the blood washes away our sins and makes us clean again. It allows the Father, who cannot look upon sin, to take in the sight of His children that He loves. Jesus' blood is truly the tie that binds.
But if that's not enough, let's look at another one. Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink His blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise Him up at the last day." (John 6.53-54)
Jesus is not referring to the occasional communion meal, where we symbolically remember these words with wafer and juice. As important a fellowship of believers time that is, Jesus is referring to so much more. He is referring to us claiming Him for who He really is. His body and blood was indeed the ultimate sacrifice that allow us to be His. His blood shed is the same blood that flows now through me. I am alive, truly for the first time, and it is because of Him. Before I accepted Christ as my Savior, and embraced His death on the cross, I was dead. Sure, I lived for work, and for fun, but I was a shell of the person God had planned for me to become. When I grasped what He did for us, when I grasped, and began to lean on the cross, I embraced the life that God had for me; and it will last forever.
Don't take my word for it; let's see what Paul had to say about this;
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through Him?" (Romans 5.6, 9)
Think about it.
From the outside looking in, a Christian can resemble a vampire. Or, a member of a blood-fetish organization. What is the deal of our obsession with blood?
When I first became the Lord's, I had no idea why Christ followers talked about the Blood so much. There were songs about it, there were sermons about it, and there were even prayers about it. The prayers were the creepiest to me; people would actually pray to be covered in the Blood of Jesus. I was baffled by the constant references to blood.
I knew nothing of Christianity before I gave my life to Christ. Years of Confirmation classes and even parochial school taught me little of who Christ really was, and what He should mean to me. So, when the Lord called me on that life-changing day, I was completely clueless. I was very much the child that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 18.3. I really enjoyed those days because the only thing I knew was that God was huge, and He was really in my life in a personal, apparent way. I acted on blind faith and He was able to do so much to make things right in my life. Even though this message is on blood, I find it necessary to write about one of the most important things I learned about the Lord early on. He does not force Himself on anyone. He is the utmost of gentlemen. He will always wait until you ask Him in, and then He can do a mighty work. Until then, He waits patiently at the door. He creates circumstances, but He never forces. But remember, you don't know how many days you have to open that door.
So what's with the obsession with blood anyhow? I was uncomfortable, critical, and even a little repulsed; until I found out how important that blood really is.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
Well, what amazingly crucial thing does Jesus Himself tell us about His precious blood?
"This is the blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Matt 26.28) I cannot even count the number of times I heard that in church, and it never meant anything to me. But read it again and think about it. This is Jesus' promise, His vow, His ultimate bonding of His children to Himself. The blood that He shed at Calvary is His precious promise to me, and to you; that the blood washes away our sins and makes us clean again. It allows the Father, who cannot look upon sin, to take in the sight of His children that He loves. Jesus' blood is truly the tie that binds.
But if that's not enough, let's look at another one. Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink His blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise Him up at the last day." (John 6.53-54)
Jesus is not referring to the occasional communion meal, where we symbolically remember these words with wafer and juice. As important a fellowship of believers time that is, Jesus is referring to so much more. He is referring to us claiming Him for who He really is. His body and blood was indeed the ultimate sacrifice that allow us to be His. His blood shed is the same blood that flows now through me. I am alive, truly for the first time, and it is because of Him. Before I accepted Christ as my Savior, and embraced His death on the cross, I was dead. Sure, I lived for work, and for fun, but I was a shell of the person God had planned for me to become. When I grasped what He did for us, when I grasped, and began to lean on the cross, I embraced the life that God had for me; and it will last forever.
Don't take my word for it; let's see what Paul had to say about this;
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through Him?" (Romans 5.6, 9)
Think about it.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
NO FEAR
I have experienced fear several times in my life. When I was a crackhead I once had a gun pointed at my head, cocked and ready to fire. I almost overdosed several times. I almost lost my children because of my drug abuse. Those all elicited some fear.
Now I'm the Lord's; He has delivered and redeemed me. I should be fearless, right? I wish. Sometimes, I actually have more fear now then I did before. I fear that I will make a wrong decision with my life, that I still harbor unforgiveness, that I judge others. My fear traps me from being more like Christ.
I think that to the outside world, Christians can actually seem indignantly fearless. Sometimes, with just the proper amount of inflection in our voices, we can sound superior about our eternal status. Do we have the potential of appearing smug to 'the unsaved?' I think so. Sometimes, all we want to do is squeak by until the end, without causing too much disruption. However, I find that the children of the Lord who are actually living fearless for God don't have time to be smug.
So, what does the human race think about fear, and what does God say about it? Well, let's start by defining fear. A pastor once defined FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real. Ok, now take that to a person who's questioning. A very real fear is that he will become a 'Jesus Freak.' Another fear is that she will be alienated by all her family and friends. Still another fear is that God will turn out to be less than expected and he will be hurt again.
What are the believers' fears? That we will become 'overboard', and that life will never be the same if we go too far. That we will 'not fit in' both inside and outside the church. That God will let us down and we will be no 'better off' than we were before Him.
Both side of the gate sound rather similar, don't they?
WHAT'S THE POINT?
Well, for both sides I have a question. Exactly how good is your life right this moment? How well have you played this game all by yourself? What would you risk by making the most important move of your life?
Let's check out what God promises:
"...For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." 1 John 5.4-5
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 1 Timothy 1.7
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of Sonship." Romans 8.15
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4.18
And Jesus..."He said to His disciples, 'Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?'" Mark 4.17
Over 350 times the Bible tells us not to fear. I think the crucial this is to remember that God has no comparison to our earthly experiences. He cannot be compared to whatever has happened to us thus far. Our fear is keeping us from living the most complete, satisfying, rich life we could possibly imagine. Our fear robs us of joy, of freedom, of truth. As I wrote earlier, when we do it alone we don't do so well.
I think it's downright amazing that you can become a part to a life that has the potential to be lived fearlessly. Knowing right now, in a very real way, that you are never alone. Never. Knowing that there can be a life lived beyond circumstances, beyond situations, beyond feelings. I want that life. Don't you?
Think about it.
I have experienced fear several times in my life. When I was a crackhead I once had a gun pointed at my head, cocked and ready to fire. I almost overdosed several times. I almost lost my children because of my drug abuse. Those all elicited some fear.
Now I'm the Lord's; He has delivered and redeemed me. I should be fearless, right? I wish. Sometimes, I actually have more fear now then I did before. I fear that I will make a wrong decision with my life, that I still harbor unforgiveness, that I judge others. My fear traps me from being more like Christ.
I think that to the outside world, Christians can actually seem indignantly fearless. Sometimes, with just the proper amount of inflection in our voices, we can sound superior about our eternal status. Do we have the potential of appearing smug to 'the unsaved?' I think so. Sometimes, all we want to do is squeak by until the end, without causing too much disruption. However, I find that the children of the Lord who are actually living fearless for God don't have time to be smug.
So, what does the human race think about fear, and what does God say about it? Well, let's start by defining fear. A pastor once defined FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real. Ok, now take that to a person who's questioning. A very real fear is that he will become a 'Jesus Freak.' Another fear is that she will be alienated by all her family and friends. Still another fear is that God will turn out to be less than expected and he will be hurt again.
What are the believers' fears? That we will become 'overboard', and that life will never be the same if we go too far. That we will 'not fit in' both inside and outside the church. That God will let us down and we will be no 'better off' than we were before Him.
Both side of the gate sound rather similar, don't they?
WHAT'S THE POINT?
Well, for both sides I have a question. Exactly how good is your life right this moment? How well have you played this game all by yourself? What would you risk by making the most important move of your life?
Let's check out what God promises:
"...For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." 1 John 5.4-5
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 1 Timothy 1.7
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of Sonship." Romans 8.15
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4.18
And Jesus..."He said to His disciples, 'Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?'" Mark 4.17
Over 350 times the Bible tells us not to fear. I think the crucial this is to remember that God has no comparison to our earthly experiences. He cannot be compared to whatever has happened to us thus far. Our fear is keeping us from living the most complete, satisfying, rich life we could possibly imagine. Our fear robs us of joy, of freedom, of truth. As I wrote earlier, when we do it alone we don't do so well.
I think it's downright amazing that you can become a part to a life that has the potential to be lived fearlessly. Knowing right now, in a very real way, that you are never alone. Never. Knowing that there can be a life lived beyond circumstances, beyond situations, beyond feelings. I want that life. Don't you?
Think about it.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
WHAT A LOVE STORY...CONTINUED
For those who actually read this on a daily basis, I apologize for the week-long delay of this post. I would love to convince myself that I am invincible, but I am not. I have been dealing with some oppression from the enemy, and I tend to retreat and lick my wounds when that happens. Fortunately, I have amazing friends that the Lord has blessed me with, and they have helped pulled me out of my funk. I also recently lost my job, so if anyone wants to tell Phillip Yancy I'm writing this killer blog, I would be much obliged.
Anyway; enough about me. This isn't about me. I pick up where we left off. God sent His only Son to be the ultimate sacrifice to restore His love to Himself. And His Son goes willingly! He experiences first-hand how petty and self-centered we really are. At times, it seems like the only way to get our attention is to do a great miracle and 'put on a show.' But He keeps on, knowing that by being faithful to His Father, that He will restore all people for all time. Wow.
So, He dies. I come along thousand of years later, and I am not living for Him at all. As a matter of fact, I hardly know He exists. I am caught up in the world and loving it. Or at least convincing myself that I love it. I convince myself that I have my piece of the pie and I deserve even more.
Then, God gets a hold of me in a big way. He turns my whole life around in an instant. He restores so much, and even brings new things. New friendships, new marriages, new passion for life. And, the faithful reader asks;
WHAT'S THE POINT...
Oh, the God that loves me so much still doesn't get the attention He deserves from me. I don't live my life for Jesus. Sometimes, I don't even mention His name when I should. My sister-in-law made a comment about me reading the bible for five hours a day (she was not paying me a compliment either) and I wanted to change her perception of me. I didn't want to correct her because she was mistaken about my dedication, but rather because I didn't want her to think that I was one of those bible-banging Christian types.
But I want to be! I want everyone who reads this blog to understand one thing very clearly: I was a disaster. I was a drug addict that should have died. I was a train wreck of a mother and a partner and they should have abandoned me long ago. And God...Why would He even want to waste His time?
But He did. The God of the universe, the lover of my soul, took me into His arms and changed everything. He loves to do that. He takes the least likely and makes them His. He should be my lover, my best friend, and with me always. But I'm distracted by money, by success, by the stupid television. I can even read about Him more than from Him.
Oh, why be so hard on myself? People need to work, they need to achieve, and then to relax.
Consider this a wake-up call. For those who don't believe...He wants to love you too. He wants to take you into His massive arms and love all the hurt away. He wants to fill the parts in you that ache for something more. He will love you so well, you'll wonder why you wasted so much time getting there.
For those of you who believe...Get up. It's high time that we ready ourselves for our Bridegroom. He's watching...And He'll be coming. We need to starting acting like His children, by living every part of ourselves for Him. I think about all the people who die without Him everyday, and I wonder why we waste so much time hanging out where they don't need our help for their souls. I say this just as much for myself as anyone else. I want to wake up for Him in the morning and go to bed singing Him a song of praise. Revival starts with one heart broken open by the Lord almighty. Let Him in and break you. Think about it.
For those who actually read this on a daily basis, I apologize for the week-long delay of this post. I would love to convince myself that I am invincible, but I am not. I have been dealing with some oppression from the enemy, and I tend to retreat and lick my wounds when that happens. Fortunately, I have amazing friends that the Lord has blessed me with, and they have helped pulled me out of my funk. I also recently lost my job, so if anyone wants to tell Phillip Yancy I'm writing this killer blog, I would be much obliged.
Anyway; enough about me. This isn't about me. I pick up where we left off. God sent His only Son to be the ultimate sacrifice to restore His love to Himself. And His Son goes willingly! He experiences first-hand how petty and self-centered we really are. At times, it seems like the only way to get our attention is to do a great miracle and 'put on a show.' But He keeps on, knowing that by being faithful to His Father, that He will restore all people for all time. Wow.
So, He dies. I come along thousand of years later, and I am not living for Him at all. As a matter of fact, I hardly know He exists. I am caught up in the world and loving it. Or at least convincing myself that I love it. I convince myself that I have my piece of the pie and I deserve even more.
Then, God gets a hold of me in a big way. He turns my whole life around in an instant. He restores so much, and even brings new things. New friendships, new marriages, new passion for life. And, the faithful reader asks;
WHAT'S THE POINT...
Oh, the God that loves me so much still doesn't get the attention He deserves from me. I don't live my life for Jesus. Sometimes, I don't even mention His name when I should. My sister-in-law made a comment about me reading the bible for five hours a day (she was not paying me a compliment either) and I wanted to change her perception of me. I didn't want to correct her because she was mistaken about my dedication, but rather because I didn't want her to think that I was one of those bible-banging Christian types.
But I want to be! I want everyone who reads this blog to understand one thing very clearly: I was a disaster. I was a drug addict that should have died. I was a train wreck of a mother and a partner and they should have abandoned me long ago. And God...Why would He even want to waste His time?
But He did. The God of the universe, the lover of my soul, took me into His arms and changed everything. He loves to do that. He takes the least likely and makes them His. He should be my lover, my best friend, and with me always. But I'm distracted by money, by success, by the stupid television. I can even read about Him more than from Him.
Oh, why be so hard on myself? People need to work, they need to achieve, and then to relax.
Consider this a wake-up call. For those who don't believe...He wants to love you too. He wants to take you into His massive arms and love all the hurt away. He wants to fill the parts in you that ache for something more. He will love you so well, you'll wonder why you wasted so much time getting there.
For those of you who believe...Get up. It's high time that we ready ourselves for our Bridegroom. He's watching...And He'll be coming. We need to starting acting like His children, by living every part of ourselves for Him. I think about all the people who die without Him everyday, and I wonder why we waste so much time hanging out where they don't need our help for their souls. I say this just as much for myself as anyone else. I want to wake up for Him in the morning and go to bed singing Him a song of praise. Revival starts with one heart broken open by the Lord almighty. Let Him in and break you. Think about it.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
WHAT A LOVE STORY
I cannot escape the fairytale. I was born into a little girl's world of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and Sleeping Beauty. As I got older, I would read the teen romances and dream of the man (prince) that would take me away from my wretched life. If you were a boy, I imagine there's a similar, yet different story. You we told tales of the mighty kings, the handsome princes, and you knew that you wanted to be the man (prince) who slayed the dragon.
So, where are we now? I for one have never tried on a glass slipper, and my husband, while slaying many deer, has never had to kill for my rescue.
But, millions of women flock to the theater to see the same story told in a couple of different ways. Even though today's story is a single mother with four kids who is rescued by her prince, and the rescuing doesn't even necessarily look like the traditional story, it is the same. For the men's movie, they rescue planets, countries, and women. Premise, still the same.
And, what are we looking for at the end of the movie? Well, for my eight bucks, I want to see the boy get the girl and the proverbial ride off into the sunset. For my husband, he relishes the war movie where the good guys sustain less damage and the town is rescued from the evil warlords. We want to see love (good) triumph.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
My point is this...Imagine for a moment that you're God. Don't worry, this isn't a creepy Master of the Universe thing. But the thing that I never realized when I was off chasing love and laughing at Christians was that the Bible is the ultimate love story. No lie. I thought Christians were this bunch of puritanical backward folk. Well, maybe some are, but to each his own interpretation. To others of us, there's this unbelievable romance that unfolds between, get this, God and His people!
I'll be honest. The first time someone suggested God as a lover (hats off and compliments to John Eldredge) I got squirmy. But then I read it for myself. Look:
"God says, 'If a husband divorces his wife and she goes from him and belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? (Jer. 3.1)
"Return...Declares the Lord; I will not look upon you in anger. For I am gracious, declares the Lord; I will not be angry forever..."(Jer 3.12)
"Surely, as a woman treacherously departs from her lover, So you have dealt treacherously with Me," (Jer 3.20)
"And you, O desolate one, what will you do? Although you dress in scarlet, Although you decorate yourself with ornaments of gold, Although you enlarge your eyes with paint, In vain you make yourself beautiful. Your lovers despise you; They seek your life." (Jer 4.30)
And on and on it goes. Back and forth; anger and misery. God. I can't imagine my husband doing the same thing for me, nor I for him. Cheating again and again on the One who gave you everything, and His Heart, and going with another. Especially going with another you know is bad for you.
What a true love story. My heart aches for the One who allowed the truth to be written down for all to see. To read about a Heart broken and bleeding for the ones He called His own.
And, to make the greatest true story told even better, He does it again!!!!!!!! This time, He sends His own Son to die, in order to have His love returned to Him. Could you imagine for one instant allowing that to happen to your son? Oh, to only dream of such a love.
But then... I realize that I am that heartless, thoughtless lover.
TO BE ..CONTINUED...
I cannot escape the fairytale. I was born into a little girl's world of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and Sleeping Beauty. As I got older, I would read the teen romances and dream of the man (prince) that would take me away from my wretched life. If you were a boy, I imagine there's a similar, yet different story. You we told tales of the mighty kings, the handsome princes, and you knew that you wanted to be the man (prince) who slayed the dragon.
So, where are we now? I for one have never tried on a glass slipper, and my husband, while slaying many deer, has never had to kill for my rescue.
But, millions of women flock to the theater to see the same story told in a couple of different ways. Even though today's story is a single mother with four kids who is rescued by her prince, and the rescuing doesn't even necessarily look like the traditional story, it is the same. For the men's movie, they rescue planets, countries, and women. Premise, still the same.
And, what are we looking for at the end of the movie? Well, for my eight bucks, I want to see the boy get the girl and the proverbial ride off into the sunset. For my husband, he relishes the war movie where the good guys sustain less damage and the town is rescued from the evil warlords. We want to see love (good) triumph.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
My point is this...Imagine for a moment that you're God. Don't worry, this isn't a creepy Master of the Universe thing. But the thing that I never realized when I was off chasing love and laughing at Christians was that the Bible is the ultimate love story. No lie. I thought Christians were this bunch of puritanical backward folk. Well, maybe some are, but to each his own interpretation. To others of us, there's this unbelievable romance that unfolds between, get this, God and His people!
I'll be honest. The first time someone suggested God as a lover (hats off and compliments to John Eldredge) I got squirmy. But then I read it for myself. Look:
"God says, 'If a husband divorces his wife and she goes from him and belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? (Jer. 3.1)
"Return...Declares the Lord; I will not look upon you in anger. For I am gracious, declares the Lord; I will not be angry forever..."(Jer 3.12)
"Surely, as a woman treacherously departs from her lover, So you have dealt treacherously with Me," (Jer 3.20)
"And you, O desolate one, what will you do? Although you dress in scarlet, Although you decorate yourself with ornaments of gold, Although you enlarge your eyes with paint, In vain you make yourself beautiful. Your lovers despise you; They seek your life." (Jer 4.30)
And on and on it goes. Back and forth; anger and misery. God. I can't imagine my husband doing the same thing for me, nor I for him. Cheating again and again on the One who gave you everything, and His Heart, and going with another. Especially going with another you know is bad for you.
What a true love story. My heart aches for the One who allowed the truth to be written down for all to see. To read about a Heart broken and bleeding for the ones He called His own.
And, to make the greatest true story told even better, He does it again!!!!!!!! This time, He sends His own Son to die, in order to have His love returned to Him. Could you imagine for one instant allowing that to happen to your son? Oh, to only dream of such a love.
But then... I realize that I am that heartless, thoughtless lover.
TO BE ..CONTINUED...
Friday, September 02, 2005
A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH PART 2
Of course I was overjoyed! This diamond was my solid, concrete proof that God was and is actively working in my life. It also signified a covenant with my husband. I think it was no coincidence that God used my diamond for this lesson. My relationship with my husband went through many 'lost' times when it looked like there was no hope. But God had kept us together according to His purposes, and He means for us to stay together for all time.
Ironically, I have not found a new career yet. I know that God has a plan, and I am trying to be patient. When I misplace my faith, all I have to do is look down at my ring and I know that He won't let me down.
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness. Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt." Jeremiah 31.3-4
God truly loves everyone that could possibly be reading this right now. He loves you. I am confident that God knew exactly where and when I would find my diamond. And, He knew it before the world began. How? Ha-Ha. I have no idea, and it hurts to even try to think about that.
Stop and think about occurrences that happen in your life that have no explanation. It's not karma, trust me. God does all kinds of things to get our attention. Sometimes, like in my case, we come to a rock bottom in our lives and find that He is there to pick us up. He is constantly trying to draw us into Him. It says in scripture that He wishes none shall perish. But He is a gentleman. He doesn't force Himself upon us, that would be brainwashing, not a relationship. He desires a relationship with us. To me, that's the best part. Where's the joy in being forced to worship something?
What might He be doing to attract your gaze? It's hard at this point in the world to get anyone's attention. Everything vies for a chance, and everybody seems to be focused on themselves. Maybe He needs to keep trying. Look around you. Check out an incredible sunset, or the birds flying South together. Or look at the stars in the midnight sky. Don't they look just like diamonds...
Think about it.
Of course I was overjoyed! This diamond was my solid, concrete proof that God was and is actively working in my life. It also signified a covenant with my husband. I think it was no coincidence that God used my diamond for this lesson. My relationship with my husband went through many 'lost' times when it looked like there was no hope. But God had kept us together according to His purposes, and He means for us to stay together for all time.
Ironically, I have not found a new career yet. I know that God has a plan, and I am trying to be patient. When I misplace my faith, all I have to do is look down at my ring and I know that He won't let me down.
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness. Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt." Jeremiah 31.3-4
God truly loves everyone that could possibly be reading this right now. He loves you. I am confident that God knew exactly where and when I would find my diamond. And, He knew it before the world began. How? Ha-Ha. I have no idea, and it hurts to even try to think about that.
Stop and think about occurrences that happen in your life that have no explanation. It's not karma, trust me. God does all kinds of things to get our attention. Sometimes, like in my case, we come to a rock bottom in our lives and find that He is there to pick us up. He is constantly trying to draw us into Him. It says in scripture that He wishes none shall perish. But He is a gentleman. He doesn't force Himself upon us, that would be brainwashing, not a relationship. He desires a relationship with us. To me, that's the best part. Where's the joy in being forced to worship something?
What might He be doing to attract your gaze? It's hard at this point in the world to get anyone's attention. Everything vies for a chance, and everybody seems to be focused on themselves. Maybe He needs to keep trying. Look around you. Check out an incredible sunset, or the birds flying South together. Or look at the stars in the midnight sky. Don't they look just like diamonds...
Think about it.
A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
I have a tale to tell today. It's a true story, and it happened to me. I want to tell it because I don't think people hear enough about what God does in the average, ordinary life, and how He loves His children so very much. Maybe in the wake of catastrophic events a story like this one can be read to know that God is very capable of rebuilding and restoring.
My boyfriend and I got engaged sometime between the birth of our first and second child. I wish I could say I remember the date, but I wasn't coherent or responsible back then. In between getting drunk or high, I used to fantasize about getting married to him. Oh sure, I wanted the house and the husband and all that, I just wanted to be in a stupor about the whole thing.
Anyway, if he and I were on the outs, which we often were, I would slip my ring off when I went to the bar. I needed to know if I was still attractive and if I still had 'it.' I did.
I also gave it back to him a time or twenty when I had enough of him and wanted to end the relationship. I tried to bail out of our relationship on a consistent basis. Looking back, that was probably one of the more consistent things about me.
The last time I tried to bail was the worst. I went house shopping with another man, planned to move out on my fiance and take the kids. There was going to be no turning back this time. However, God had a much, much bigger plan. My fiance really begged me to stay, but I said no.
But then, to make matters worse, he lost his job. How could I kick a man when he's down? I told the other man I would stay with my fiance until he got a job, then I was out of there. God had an incredibly different plan. In the meantime, He saved me, sobered me up, sent me to college and my fiance and I were married.
So, I was more than devastated when the diamond out of my ring was lost April of this year. I lost it when my company relocated offices and we were assembling shelving. It was in a warehouse-type setting, so I knew I would never find it again. Funny thing, something told me I would lose it. The weeks before I would catch myself looking at it and thinking how much I would miss it. So when it finally fell out, it was almost anticlimactic.
I made an intense effort to find it, as did my employees. My husband and I discussed our options; our deductible on the house insurance was too high and we couldn't afford to replace it. I kept buying inexpensive bands with an attempt to make up the loss, but they never lasted. I had resigned myself to no more ring. The worst, most ironic thing about the loss was that I hated looking unmarried. Finally, God restores our lives and now I had no proof I was happily married.
About a month ago I was praying when the thought came into my mind, 'When you find the diamond, you can go.' See, I really dislike my job. I would like to write for a living, and counsel people with addictions. My job depresses me. When I heard that thought in my mind, I dismissed it as wishful thinking. As the week went on, I kept thinking about that, and keeping my eyes peeled for the diamond, but to no avail.
Friday rolls around, and I'm supposed to have a meeting with a Christian counselor regarding my future. I was seeking advice for my future pursuits. I was all excited, but at the last minute, she was unable to meet me. I was extremely upset. I called my husband and told him I had enough, and I had given up trying to figure out what to do next with my life. I was angry with God, and I told Him about it.
I was looking around the warehouse, thinking I was stuck there forever when I happen to glance at the dust mop. I thought to myself that I was going to give God a hand at finding that diamond. I swept (for the hundredth time) under all the shelves. Nothing. In angry desperation, I fell to my knees by one of the shelving racks. For no reason whatsoever, I put my head to the ground, and under the shelf I saw a glimmer. With the strength of Samson, I pulled the 250 pound shelf out of the way. There it was, in a crevice on the cement floor. I don't exaggerate when I write that we had looked there dozens of times. But there it was.
MY POINT TOMORROW...
I have a tale to tell today. It's a true story, and it happened to me. I want to tell it because I don't think people hear enough about what God does in the average, ordinary life, and how He loves His children so very much. Maybe in the wake of catastrophic events a story like this one can be read to know that God is very capable of rebuilding and restoring.
My boyfriend and I got engaged sometime between the birth of our first and second child. I wish I could say I remember the date, but I wasn't coherent or responsible back then. In between getting drunk or high, I used to fantasize about getting married to him. Oh sure, I wanted the house and the husband and all that, I just wanted to be in a stupor about the whole thing.
Anyway, if he and I were on the outs, which we often were, I would slip my ring off when I went to the bar. I needed to know if I was still attractive and if I still had 'it.' I did.
I also gave it back to him a time or twenty when I had enough of him and wanted to end the relationship. I tried to bail out of our relationship on a consistent basis. Looking back, that was probably one of the more consistent things about me.
The last time I tried to bail was the worst. I went house shopping with another man, planned to move out on my fiance and take the kids. There was going to be no turning back this time. However, God had a much, much bigger plan. My fiance really begged me to stay, but I said no.
But then, to make matters worse, he lost his job. How could I kick a man when he's down? I told the other man I would stay with my fiance until he got a job, then I was out of there. God had an incredibly different plan. In the meantime, He saved me, sobered me up, sent me to college and my fiance and I were married.
So, I was more than devastated when the diamond out of my ring was lost April of this year. I lost it when my company relocated offices and we were assembling shelving. It was in a warehouse-type setting, so I knew I would never find it again. Funny thing, something told me I would lose it. The weeks before I would catch myself looking at it and thinking how much I would miss it. So when it finally fell out, it was almost anticlimactic.
I made an intense effort to find it, as did my employees. My husband and I discussed our options; our deductible on the house insurance was too high and we couldn't afford to replace it. I kept buying inexpensive bands with an attempt to make up the loss, but they never lasted. I had resigned myself to no more ring. The worst, most ironic thing about the loss was that I hated looking unmarried. Finally, God restores our lives and now I had no proof I was happily married.
About a month ago I was praying when the thought came into my mind, 'When you find the diamond, you can go.' See, I really dislike my job. I would like to write for a living, and counsel people with addictions. My job depresses me. When I heard that thought in my mind, I dismissed it as wishful thinking. As the week went on, I kept thinking about that, and keeping my eyes peeled for the diamond, but to no avail.
Friday rolls around, and I'm supposed to have a meeting with a Christian counselor regarding my future. I was seeking advice for my future pursuits. I was all excited, but at the last minute, she was unable to meet me. I was extremely upset. I called my husband and told him I had enough, and I had given up trying to figure out what to do next with my life. I was angry with God, and I told Him about it.
I was looking around the warehouse, thinking I was stuck there forever when I happen to glance at the dust mop. I thought to myself that I was going to give God a hand at finding that diamond. I swept (for the hundredth time) under all the shelves. Nothing. In angry desperation, I fell to my knees by one of the shelving racks. For no reason whatsoever, I put my head to the ground, and under the shelf I saw a glimmer. With the strength of Samson, I pulled the 250 pound shelf out of the way. There it was, in a crevice on the cement floor. I don't exaggerate when I write that we had looked there dozens of times. But there it was.
MY POINT TOMORROW...
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