(sorry I’ve been gone a while…preoccupied with job search, forgot to trust God)


To exclaim

1: to cry out or speak in strong or sudden emotion
2: to speak loudly or vehemently
3: to utter sharply, passionately, or vehemently: proclaim


I am utterly addicted to music infomercials. You know the ones I mean; where two members from REO Speedwagon or Air Supply reminisce with their co-host about long-ago songs from years past. For a half-hour they’ll conjure up memories about this hit or that, saying coy phrases like, “Oh, remember when this song used to come on the radio and everybody would turn it up?”

Well I for one remember those days. I have been addicted to music my whole life. From a little girl dancing to her mother’s records (remember those?) to a mom dancing with her kids, I have deeply loved music. Of all kinds I might add. I went through a rock n’ roll, classic country, reggae, love song, classical, Grateful Dead, Prince, oldies, punk, alternative and Christian phase throughout my life. The only types of music I don’t like are polka and opera.

I also have a gift that assists my musical love affair. I have the uncanny ability to remember the lyrics of a song after I hear it the first time. So, when I hear a song that moves me, I never really forget it.

So, these infomercials were really designed for someone like me. They take me on an emotional roller coaster every single time they’re on television. So many songs will take me to a different place in my life; where I was, what I was doing, who I was with. If you were to be in the room with me during these pregnant commercials, you would definitely hear me exclaim. Sometimes rather loudly. This was certainly the case this past Saturday.

This was a new infomercial on the late-night circuit. It was, “Ultimate Rock Ballads.” Let me tell you, this was chock full of some great music! (If anyone wants to buy it for me, I wouldn’t be opposed). But it had the undesired effect of bringing back some memories I had stashed away.

Some of the music pointed straight at my teen years, when I was the most volatile. There was one particular relationship that was almost my undoing which could claim at least five songs on this particular set. There was a relationship in college that was one of my best (before my husband of course) that could claim at least two songs.

I started getting incredibly nostalgic, in a dangerous way. I thought about what life could have been like had I taken those roads to which those songs belonged. It’s easy to guess when there’s no knowledge of what life would have been like; no misbehaving kids, no overdue bills, no job stress. So, when I combined the songs with a ‘what might have been’ spirit, things became combustible. I went to bed that night sorrowful. All I could think about were the bad choices I had made, wrong decisions and mistakes that these songs had conjured up.

It was with this heart condition that I went to church on Sunday. My spiritual health wasn’t the best before the infomercial; still looking for a job, money crisis always overhead, all weighing heavily, top of mind. So the infomercial was just another straw on my back.

God is still in control of this situation, I will tell you that. My pastor has been in the book of Philippians for the past month, and it was there he remained on Sunday. And the verse he used for this particular sermon?

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heaven-ward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3.13-14

The allusion the writer Paul is using is a runner in a race. It makes a great word picture if you think about it. What runner is foolish enough to look behind her when she’s in a race for the finish line? Instead, the runner stays singularly focused on the finish line; heart pounding, pulse racing, knowing what glory is at the end.

And my end is Jesus. I know that like I know the words to these meaningless songs. Even better than that, because I know what Jesus has actually done in my life and continues to do everyday. Jesus is what has meaning, and those horrible decisions I made in the past? Gone. What might have been? Gone too.

Jesus saw all of my terrible choices and He forgave them. He knew how those choices would affect my walk with Him too, how He would use them to proclaim His glory. He has redeemed me as His precious daughter, clean and pure in His sight.

In the Bible, Paul was able to put all of his rotten past behind him. And he was guilty of murdering Christians in his past. But he knew Jesus had forgiven him, so he removed it from his line of sight. That’s what I want; because I know I have been forgiven too.

“My whole being will exclaim,
‘Who is like you, O Lord?’ (Psalm 35.10)

(I do still like the music though.)