the arrows of love

As if to assume I am qualified to start a ‘series,’ I am about to do just that.  I was pondering the subject of love today, (go figure) and rather than cram all my ideas into one enormous confusing blog, I will separate it into three confusing ones.

Ok, so that blathering aside, my first thoughts are about myself. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about your mate, right?  Well, in this case I opt to discuss me instead.  The premise is very simple, if I am bothered by myself, if I am combatant toward the very person who is to love another, I will be completely unsuccessful at any outward gestures.

When Jesus captured my heart, my heart was rather skeptical toward the whole idea.  I may have alluded to this before; but my counselor’s idea of looking to God to be the father I never had went over poorly at best.  I think that may have set my relationship with God farther back to be honest.  Fathers were to be distrusted and I wanted nothing to do with another one.  
I got over that and started to look at God with a different reflection; the Alpha & the Omega, I Am.  Those were powerful, take-charge kinds of ways to look at the Creator of the Universe. Those names seemed to be more fitting for a God I could get to know, to get used to having in my life.
However, what I ultimately needed to realize is that the problem lied within me, not Him.  I had to realize that I was afraid of letting in another father; that the idea of a gentle shepherd scared me inside.  I was looking for something fierce because that was what I was accustomed to.  I was afraid because I might actually start to believe that He cared about me.
I still am.  When things go wrong in my life; when things really start affecting my pride, my self-esteem, I retreat.  Rather that stand strong, knowing my Father has my back, I slide back into the familiar.  For me, the familiar is the ‘nothing can hurt me’ ostrich pose.  Of course it’s self-defeating; I know that.  Heck, I knew that when I was a drug addict.  To be brutally honest, I thought I was in control because I knew I was self-destructive, but I just didn’t care.
So for me right now, I have a problem that I need to deal with.  Of course, God is still there with me.  As I write those words, I have to actually take a leap of faith to believe that; but I know it’s true.  But this is an issue that I need to take apart and explore.  

So for Valentine’s Day this year, take some time to make sure you love yourself.  Check for mental roadblocks that prevent you from loving your Father as much as you should, and more importantly, from receiving the love that you so desperately need.  Loving yourself makes it easier to let go, to release that false sense of control you think you have, to stop retreating.  

Until then, here’s some reassurances for us all.  Peace in abundance to you all.

“All you saints!  Sing your hearts out to God!  Thank Him to His face!  He gets angry once in a while, but across a lifetime there is only love.  The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.”  Psalm 30.4-5

“Oh, thank God-He’s so good!  His love never runs out.  All of you set free by God, tell the world!  Tell how He freed you from oppression, then rounded you up form all over the place, from the four winds, from the seven seas.” Psalm 17.1-3

DO NOT TRY TO ADJUST

The picture you see above is currently on display in an art gallery in New York. I did not post it upside-down by the way, it is portrayed the way the artist intended. And yes, that image is of Osama bin Laden.
If you were to see the entire print, you would read along the edges words like 'terrorist' and 'infidel' along with some references to Nazis. This is an artist rendition of Jesus Christ. To this artist, He is a terrorist. The painting is still on display at the time of this posting. The building has not burned to the ground and the artist is still alive.

I have watched the violence continue to unfold since my last posting. I was hopeful at seeing the information I posted being reported on the evening news. I was thinking that perhaps news of an actual Muslim Iman trying to fan the flames of violence and hatred with his own pictures would turn the tide of opposition a little.
I was shocked and dismayed to find out otherwise. It seems that the media believes Islam is a religion that has been oppressed and ridiculed so much that all of this protesting is justified. Sure, they condemn the actual violence, but they point to the recent riots in Paris as a symptom of segregation and racism.

This whole issue angers me. It's not the kind of anger that will send me into the streets with a gun or even a placard, but I am angered at how quickly Christianity is ridiculed and condemned. We lose our rights to pray in public, to display our Savior, and in some areas, we have lost our rights to some of our Bible. If we care too much about an issue, like abortion or even the environment; we are dismissed as right-wing and fundamentalist. Let's not even discuss marriage laws; we're too close-minded to have a discussion. We are lumped together with republicans and Pat Robertson, and we are laughed at. The values that our founding fathers had, that our nation has flourished with, are thrown out as archaic and oppressive.

Well then, why should Muslims be surprised to be lumped together with the terrorists? They don't deserve their individuality any more than I do. They also deserve it as much as I do. The media has no distress when they report on Christianity with a 'them' mentality, but they seem to have remorse for the actual peaceful practioners of Islam. I am so tired of this double standard. It would almost seem that Christianity, and Jesus in particular, strikes a chord in people. This chord is so unsettling that it causes defensiveness and the urge to flee.

So then, the reason I don't fight? Because despite what the world around me may say, or may look like, I know God is truly in control. Names will never hurt me, not really. I am a child of the King, and I will let Him defend all of us in His own time. Which I have no doubt will happen. Until then, I'll just keep content knowing the truth.

PAUL MAKES MY POINT FOR ME...

"[But] God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see; eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of His divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat Him like God, refusing to worship Him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in His hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand." Romans 1.18-23

A THOUSAND WORDS

I thought about writing this particular blog for quite a while. I really wasn't going to include my voice in the world arena. There has been so much written about the Mohammed cartoons; why should I add my opinion to it? The Dannish newspaper seem to have made their point, haven't they?I decided that there's more to talk about. As I listen to the rhetoric being blasted all across the media waves, I can't help but reflect on the other parts of the story.

I am a Christian, as you are well aware. While I watch the coverage of this story, and I watch violence erupt, I think about two things: how Christians are represented in media and government, and what our reaction is to said coverage.

There were several other small protests across Afghanistan on Wednesday, including one in Kabul. Hundreds of university students, including women, marched peacefully through the capital, chanting "Death to the Dannish! Death to Americans!" Foxnews.com

When did it become peaceful to chant about the death of another group of people? Is it peaceful because they weren't carrying guns and shooting up armies and civilians?

In an attempt to be unbiased and fair, the Danish newspapers have now decided to run cartoons about the Holocaust. The cartoons are from the Iranians, drawn in retaliation. I can only assume we are next.

But haven't we been in cartoons already? It can only take a minute for me to find editorial cartoons satirizing God, Jesus, and Christianity in general. We are the source of inspiration for comedians, talk show host and news anchors. Politicians take shots at us, and courts remove any representation of us from the public square that they can.

If were to take extreme offense for every cartoon drawn about our religion, there would be anarchy. So why don't we? According to the media and sources like Newsweek; we are the religion of intolerance, of bigotry, of hatred and of suppression. Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance, right?

The Turkish president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, was quoted in the Turkish press saying: Caricatures of prophet Muhammad are an attack against our spiritual values. There should be a limit of freedom of press. Junkyardblog.net

But here's what happens to Christians on a weekly, if not daily basis somewhere in the world.

The New York City schools policy states that the display of secular holiday symbol decorations is permitted and lists as examples the menorah and the star and crescent. But the policy specifically excludes the display of the Christian Nativity scene.The city argues the menorah and star and crescent are permissible symbols because they are secular, whereas the Nativity scene must be excluded because it is purely religious. Junkyardblog.net

Despite our portrayal, we persist in sharing the Message we have been given. Because we're human, some of us tend to skew the lines by being rather intolerant, I don't deny that. But to my knowledge, in the modern era of humanity, we haven't insisted on a mass uprising against the rest of the world. Instead, we have chosen to act as light in a world that has increasingly become dark. The world of Islam appears to have other motives on their agenda. According to the story that is unfolding below, if your religion isn't making enough ground on its own, try to fan fires of discontent and strife.

A lot of this "spontaneity" was clearly staged. The cartoons gained a wider audience when radical Danish clerics toured the Middle East last month, showing the offending cartoons to the heads of several of the major Islamist groups in the region. Just in case the originals weren't offensive enough, the clerics also supplied a few of their own cartoons, ever more inflammatory, and said they sprang from the pens of the infidels. One of the clerics, Ahmed Abdel Rahman Abu Ladan, explained in an interview that the tour was meant to "internationalize this issue." The clerics told their hosts that Muslims do not have the right to build mosques in Denmark, and repeated other ridiculous lies to foment discord and ridicule the Danish government. powerlineblog.com

TODAY'S POINT

I only can point to the words of Jesus for my point today. We can point fingers back and forth, as we have been doing since the Crusades, and each side will claim superiority and the fast track to heaven. But, I ask you to consider how the followers of Jesus conduct their day to day life, and how we 'peacefully' handle ourselves.

"You're blessed when you can show peoplc how to cooperate instead of compete or fight." Jesus in Matthew 5.9

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. " Jesus again in Matthew 5.10

"Not only that-count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens-give a cheer even!-for though they don't like it. I do!" Jesus in Matthew 5.11

I want you to also remember one other thing that Jesus said, and it's important.

"I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. NO one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well."

Think about it. I'll have more on this subject Friday.

i have come to a crucial decision. because i want people to read this blog, and actually come back to it time and time again, i think a little consistency is in order. starting the week of February 5, 2006, i will post two messages a week: tuesday and friday. as i typically write in the middle of the night, you may check any time for the new posts. so, once again, that's every tuesday and friday for your complete word sword message.
thank you for reading this blog. you may return to your regularly scheduled life.

deer in headlights

I had another article lined up for tonight, but something more interesting came up in the meantime.  Since this idea includes a neat little story, I thought I would write this one first.  The other one will have to wait until next week.
Ok, ok, here’s the story.  My husband and I attend a small group Bible study at someone’s house every other Sunday.  This Sunday was no different, except the previous week our marriage sustained serious damage, of which we were beginning to emerge.  It seemed to me that we went though some sort of a ten-year crisis, but having never gone through one, I cannot be positive.  It did appear that everything in our relationship that usually simmered below the surface began to boil over and make a terrible mess.  
My emotions were all over the map during that week of crisis.  I tried to cling to Jesus, I really did.  Just when I thought I could keep my focus on Him, my anger or my sadness would take hold of me and my sight would veer. Half of the time I would pray; the other half I would curse.  Just when things were their bleakest, the fighting between my husband and me stopped.
The thing that has to be clear is that the distress in our marriage was catastrophic and had the potential to be fatal.  Sure, we had our fights in the past, but nothing compared to this one.  Words were said that acted as daggers, doors seemed to slam shut, never to be opened again.

We are driving home from the Bible study.  We are cautiously optimistic to one another.  The peace treaty is fragile; the relationship is more delicate then ever before.  Small words are said like, “Good group tonight, huh?”  
Then all at once, I am impressed with the knowledge that my husband should slow the van down.  I need to let you know something about my husband.  Because of his line of work, he has taken several defensive driving and emergency vehicle driving classes.  He is an outstanding driver, and I feel very safe driving with him.  Because of his passion for hunting, he is also very competent at spotting ‘eyes’ on the sides of the road.  I need to emphasize that I never have urges to criticize his driving.  
So, weighing our delicate relationship with this now pressing need to tell him to slow down, I proceed with caution.  I respectfully ask him to slow down.  Thankfully, he looks puzzled, but does what I asked.  Almost immediately, the headlights shine on a herd of deer.  I realize that deer don’t travel in herds, but there are at least a dozen deer right in front of us.  They look at us with casual surprise, and then move along into the night.

AND NOW RUNS THE POINT…

I think it is absolutely amazing that Jesus seeks after us even when we are a disaster.  I had just spent the past week feeling sorry for myself and being angry with Him, but He was still speaking at me.  
True story turns into cheesy analogy ahead:  it occurred to me that I was that deer in the headlights.  When the hard lights of adversity and struggle pierced my eyes, I froze.  I did not have the strength to take refuge in Him.  I focused on my circumstances rather than on God.  The deer freeze at the sight of headlights because their eyes are accustomed to gathering light in the darkness.  So when the lights shine on them, their eyes freak out (not a technical term) and they are blinded.  I was so blinded by my anger and our fight that I could no longer see the truth; that God was with us and He was in our situation.  But as God is an eternal lover, He kept right along side of us and averted potential disaster.

“Since God has so generously let us in on what He is going, we’re not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times.  We refuse to wear masks and play games.  We don’t maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes.  And we don’t twist God’s Word to suit ourselves…So we’re not giving up.  How could we! even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us; on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace.  These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us.  There’s far more here than meets the eye.  The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.  But the things we can’t see now will last forever.” Paul in 2 Corinthians 4.1, 16-18

Not a day goes by without God’s unfolding grace.  My husband and I were not alone through our struggles.  It was I who walked away from God; it was I who tried to make it on my own.  And it was God who stayed loyal and loving, protecting us from harm.
Think about it.  

bon voyage...

I helped my best friend pack a few days ago.  She is moving to the other side of the continent and I should be happy for her. She and her husband are off on a journey, allowing God to call upon and use their lives.  
I went through the thousand stages of grief, or however many there are.  I ignored the inevitable at first, assuming the thought of moving would go away; get caught up in their whirlwind lives.  It continued to come up, rearing its ugly head when I least expected it.  I then convinced myself it would be no big deal if they did leave.  Mature people can have long-distance friendships, right?  I tried to talk my husband into moving too, figuring that to be the best solution.  He thought otherwise.  
The thoughts began racing through my head:  whom would I share my secrets with?  Who would talk me down from my ledges?  Who would continue to teach me how to be a disciple of Christ?  A wife?  A mother???
See, as always God had a plan right from the beginning.  When I became the Lord’s, I was clueless.  My friends like to make light of this, but truth be known; after I was accepted at my Christian college for a degree in Christian Ministry, I celebrated by having a few drinks at the local bar.  I didn’t know squat.  In fact, the things I did know could be summed up on a few fingers:  I opened the doors to Jesus.  I was a forgiven sinner.  I was unconditionally loved and accepted by God.  I was to tell others about this.  Ok.  My decision to attend college was not my own to make.  I just knew I was to go.  There is no other explanation.  
Through the blind faith action of attending class, I met the husband of my best friend.  He was a pastor of a mission in the city pursuing more education.  One of our first assignments was to interview a pastor, and since I did not know another one, I asked him.  He invited me to the mission to meet his wife and do the interview.  
Forgive me if I sound like a story line here, but when she and I met for the first time, something strange happened.  We just instantly connected.
Long story short, I became her student for the next two years after.  If you know your Bible, I was her Timothy and she was my Paul.  She taught me how to forgive, how to laugh, and how to love.  I saw Jesus in a completely different light through her eyes.  He became someone I could fall in love with.  Just like she had.  
God had put someone in my life to help me succeed.  Someone I wasn’t afraid to be honest with, someone who could tell me the truth.  For a season in my life when I needed her the most, she was there.
And so now she’s gone.  I know she is still in my life, don’t get me wrong.  Nevertheless, I cannot go running to her house every time I bruise my spirit.  I cannot get a hug when I feel alone.  

BOY THIS IS SAD.  IS THERE A POINT?

Believe it or not, there is a happy point here.  Let us peruse a passage from Eugene Peterson, author of The Message, with his thoughts on friendship:
“And then someone enters our life who isn’t looking for someone to use, is leisurely enough to find out what’s really going on in us, is secure enough not to exploit our weaknesses or attack our strengths, recognizes our inner life and understands the difficulty of living out our inner convictions, confirms what’s deepest within us.  A friend.” From ‘Leap over a Wall.’

And then I read the words Jesus said to His disciples before He left them:
“This is my command:  Love one another he way I loved you.  This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.  You are my friends when you do the things I command you.” John 15.12-14

And it occurred to me that Jesus was and is a friend to me.  And although He is not here physically, our friendship does not change.  God calls all of us to grow, to do His will.  Jesus was called to put His body on a cross and die for His friends.  My best friend was called for a time to be a teacher, a sage if you will, to me.  Then she was called to go.  Perhaps she will be able to help another struggling newborn on their road to Jesus.  
We are all called to be brothers and sisters in Christ, helping and loving one another as best we can.  I am a better woman for knowing my best friend.  
I’ll end with the words Paul spoke to Timothy.  I can bet that Timothy was saying them right back to Paul.

“Every time I say your name in prayer – which is practically all the time – I thank God for you, the God I worship with my whole life in the tradition of my ancestors.  I miss you a lot, especially when I remember that last tearful good-bye, and I look forward to a joy-packed reunion.” 2 Timothy 1.3-4

mythology debunked

Oh, I fear that my last blog was too sad-sounding, so here I am again to cast off sorrowful veils.  Everybody’s life falls to levels that make them uncomfortable.  I dare say that what separates them from me is that I have no shame.  Or, at least I like to pretend I have no shame.  I write about these kinds of issues so you can look at yourself without public inspection.  

I really want people to know that becoming a Christian does not make the kinds of valleys I wrote about disappear.  In fact, these valleys make me stronger by revealing myths that I need to vanquish.  That’s why I wrote this story.  Two things bother me:  pre-Christians tend to think we are supposed to be perfect, and Christians hesitate to talk about the really hard stuff.  It’s easier for all of us to say everything’s fine, isn’t it?

Ok, so back to the story.  I’m in the valley, waiting desperately to be pulled out. I am running for my myths for comfort and security.  If I’m smart, I’m reading the Bible and praying.  If I’m not, then I’m feeling sorry for myself and delving even deeper in my mythical havens.  More often than not, I opt for the latter.  

But I ask again- Does Jesus have any opinion on this?  Does the Bible offer any respite from the valley?

He promises that we are protected through the valley:
“Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Hard trials and temptations are bound to come, but too bad for whoever brings them on!  Better to wear a millstone necklace and take a swim in the deep blue sea than give even one of these dear little ones a hard time!’” Jesus in Luke 17.1-2

He promises us that the valleys are worth it!
If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me.  If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself.  But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.” Jesus in Matthew 10.38-39

He promises that we are definitely not alone in the valley:
“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead.  You’re not in the driver’s seat, I am.  Don’t run from suffering; embrace it.  Follow me and I’ll show you how.  Self-help is no help at all.  Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.” Jesus in Matthew 16.24-25

I’m going to let Paul have the final word tonight.  He is talking here about the thorn he had.  To put into context:  Paul’s job was to preach God’s word to the Gentiles.  He is talking about the wonderful visions and revelations of heaven and such that God gave him and here is what he says:

“Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations.  Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees.  No danger then of walking around high and mighty!  At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it.  Three times I did that, and then he told me, ‘My grace is enough; it’s all you need.  My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen.  I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.  It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness.  Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size-abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks.  I just let Christ take over!  And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” Paul in 2 Corinthians 12.7-10

Can I say what Paul said through my valleys?  Can I remove the myths and ‘just let Christ take over?’  Paul was not a superhero; he was a man who had his eyes on the only true prize, Jesus.  Rather than escaping as I try to do, he kept his eyes focused on the reality of the sufficiency of Christ.  He embraced the thorn, actually believing that it was a gift to keep him grounded and focused on Christ rather than himself.  

Oh Father, thank you for always telling the truth.  Thank you for not always answering prayer the way I would have you answer it.  Thank you for the trials and temptations in my life that make me a better person for you.  Jesus, we would be so lost without you.  No matter what I may think, you are my strength, my reliance.  Thank you most of all for being so much more than a myth.