what love is not

Once we figure out what love is, (as if that is possible); we must decide what love is not.  I thought it might be easier if we start by defining what love is not by looking at ‘traditional’ love relationships.  Then, we can move onto defining the love relationship we can have with our Savior.

So- love is not:  judgmental.  By the time we love another person, we should be past the point of assessing them based on our set of standards.  Love is not of a critical nature.  We should not find fault with our loved one’s every action.  Most importantly, love cannot be forced; not upon another, or forcing yourself to love someone.  

This is just a snapshot of ideas I came up with in the last hour.  Books and books have been written about how to love and how not to love.  Rather than waste your time reading my regurgitated words, let us see what the Bible says about love.  The text I am going to refer you to is a popular one.  You can find it at weddings, on nifty plaques you can hang in your home.  However, do you really remember what comes after, ‘Love is patient.  Love is kind.’?  Take a closer look at what comes next.

     “Love never gives up. (Love is patient.)
      Love cares more for others than for self. (Love is kind.)
      Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
      Love doesn’t strut,
      Doesn’t have a swelled head,
      Doesn’t force itself on others,
      Isn’t always ‘me first,’  
        Doesn’t fly off the handle,
      Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
      Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
      Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
      Puts up with anything,
      Trusts God always,
      Always looks for the best,
      Never looks back,
      But keeps going to the end.
(1 Corinthians 13.4-7)

I love this.  Do you see how many things love should and shouldn’t do?  And how many of them we neglect?  In fact, we sometimes find pleasure in doing the opposite.  That is especially true when we are focusing on protecting ourselves.

While I could spend hours on each line, I want to focus on just one tonight.  ‘Doesn’t force itself on others.’
I inadvertently think about that line quite often.  I think about it because I question God why people are allowed to get away with so much.  I hear blasphemous music on the radio, I know people say some rather blasphemous words, and they are still standing, prospering even.  That is one of my biggest ‘why’ questions.  

I think about my life.  How awful I was for so long.  Wouldn’t life have been easier if Jesus could have taken over my life from the beginning and saved me all the headaches?

But, if I were forced, would I have known it?  Would I have cared?  Worse yet, would I have loved Him back?  I would like to say yes, but I know that I am only trying to justify the easy way out, and thus blame Jesus for my old life.

And so, while in another blog I will reveal that Jesus is certainly not passive; He is nonetheless patient.  He is a gentle man when it comes to this love; in love with us from a distance, waiting for us to discover and love Him too.  If He forced love upon us, if He demanded our attention that would not be love; it would be slavery and coercion.

Love needs to be something both sides agree on.  Jesus already has agreed to love you.  You the blasphemer, you the atheist, and of course, you the sinner.  He is just waiting for us to discover that we love Him too.