Christmas Wrap Up

Well, a triumphant cry echoes throughout the land now: ‘I made it through Christmas!!’  Another season of anxious gift buying, present-wrapping and pithy conversation with relatives has ended.  There were additional stresses of double checking cards to find the Christmas stamp.  Immediate judgment passed if the phrase ‘Happy Holidays’ was used.  Combine that with the absolute insistence to avoid Target stores made the Christmas season that much harder.  Darn them for not allowing the Salvation Army to stand sentry at their doors.
Forgive me if I sound cynical.  I heard too much clarion calling this season; forced Merry Christmases, structured avoidance or tactical boycotting.  I wonder what the goal is for all of this.  Before I go any further, I fear I have to state the necessary clarifications so that my credentials are not questioned.  I support Christmas with every fiber of my being.  Jesus coming to this earth to redeem us, to consider us a treasure worth walking amongst astounds me.  However, I remember a much simpler time: a time when we put on a Christmas pageant in my public elementary school.  A time when Merry Christmas was said without hesitation to anyone and everyone.  It was respectful for members of all races and religions to wish happy tidings of the season without offending or disregarding.  
So, now that it’s forced, what does it mean?  Does a banner waving ‘Merry Christmas’ from a store mean anything if it is contrived and forced?  No, I am not okay with winter solstice witchcraft celebrations at schools.  I also think personally believe that everyone should support the Salvation Army.  Those bell-wringers have been an American icon for as long as I can remember.  
This is just a continuation of a feeling I’ve had for a while now.  Christmas is a perfect season to demonstrate love, not strife.  I can stand for Jesus and say Merry Christmas, and mail a check to the Salvation Army and accomplish just as much for the sake of Christ.  I can smile and share love, and celebrate the birth of my Savior without bringing attention to what is wrong with the world.  
Enough about that.  My real topic for tonight is how I get through the Christmas season.  I did not make it through the family get-togethers without feeling disappointed with myself.  I always feel like I have things to prove.  I was a junkie; a disaster to my family once upon a time.  To the casual observer, one who is skeptical about the power of Jesus, I look like a pull-up-your-bootstraps kind of success story.  I feel this pressing need to prove Jesus to them.  The main reason is that I want them to know how amazing Jesus really is.  I want them to know He is the one who changed my life.  I want eternal joy for my family.
But, I feel like it’s my job to ram that message home.  And when I don’t appear as holy as I want, or my husband and children don’t live up to my expectations, I feel like I’m the one who lets God down.  
If I’m feeling down on myself, I rely on the passage from when Jesus returns to His hometown.  The people are shocked and amazed of who Jesus thinks He is.  They ask, ‘Isn’t He the carpenter’s son?’  They end up offended at Him and not believing who He says He is.  Jesus says to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” (Matthew 13.57)  He says He was unable to perform miracles because of their lack of faith.
FINALLY, THE POINT…
My only point is that love is the key.  Does my striving to make myself, my husband and my children look perfect prove anything?  Actually, it only serves to prove that I’m a phony.  It also perhaps could intimidate someone into believing that Christianity leaves no room to be human and fail.  
Funny thing is, I am a complete sinner, and I always will be.  Yes, God strives to make me more and more like His Son, but I will always be human.  Isn’t that the whole point of the whole story?  We are human, we screw up, sometimes we have bad tempers and our children act up; but Jesus loves me, I am forgiven, and I will always be His child.  What does it prove to my family if I fake perfection?
So, as the year winds up to a close, I take time for personal reflection.  I pray, I read my Bible, I prepare for a month-long fast.  And I hone in on the pure love that is truly the most important,
“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they [His disciples] know that you have sent me.  I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” Jesus in John 17.25-26