My weekend with the Lord…or lead me from the Labyrinth

I interrupt my series on words to bring you a story of restoration and more evidence on the power of prayer. I had many of you praying for me this past weekend, as I was to embark on a spiritual quest. Thigh bone broken or not, some things needed to be wrestled out with God. The prayer was for both strength and protection from impending spiritual warfare.

The prayer retreat was in itself a gift from the Lord. I had needed to go into an extended time of prayer and meditation for a while now. As you may or may not know, I dealt with child abuse as a child and young adult. My mother was, (and is) suffering from depression. As a result, she did a lot of things that she no longer remembers. So, I cannot extract my pound of flesh from getting her to remember and confess to her sins.

So the burden falls on me and the Lord. In order to proceed into a deeper relationship with Christ and feel safe doing ministry work, I needed to ‘clean the pipes’ as a dear mentor once told me. I was carrying years of anger, rage, sadness, pity, fear, resentment, rejection and scarring (I made a list.) I needed to work through my feelings with God and my mother, and assorted family members.

So, my counselor and I were waiting on the Lord for the opportune time for me to go on a retreat. Well, that time came last weekend. The retreat was offered last minute to my church. ‘Coincidentally,’ my husband was going up north and taking our children with him. Here was my big chance!

I had a set agenda. I was going to go off on my own and do some primal screaming, breaking of branches, and lots of crying. There were about fourteen of us on the retreat. We started out Friday night with a relaxing dinner. Then, our pastor led us on a directed prayer journey through John 13.1-5. It’s the passage that describes Jesus washing the disciples’ feet.

1It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. 2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Our pastor led us into directed contemplation about this passage. We wrapped our minds around what this scene really looked like. What were the sounds, smells? Then he had us put ourselves into the place of one of the disciples and think about how it must have felt having the Lord wash our feet. The whole exercise was a beautiful reflection into scripture, and for me, set the tone of the weekend.

Then, we played games and laughed hysterically for the rest of the night. This was nothing at all like I was expecting. It certainly didn’t fit my agenda.

When we were finally let on our own the next morning, it was off to business. However, my pastor just had to say one more thing in his prayer for us. Here is a paraphrase, “Father, I ask if there is anyone going out with their own expectations for the day, I ask that you make them flexible to your plans.’ Great. Now I had that to deal with. But I took it in stride. As I was walking outside, I prayed, “Ok God, if you want to run this encounter differently, then I’m willing to go with the flow.”

Remember, my original plan was to go deep into the woods and get busy with some primal emotions. Instead, the Lord led me to a Labyrinth that was cut into the grounds at the retreat center. How could this ever help vent the anger I needed to get out?

Still going with the flow, I started by walking around the Labyrinth cautiously, checking it out. Actually, I was wondering how stupid I would look walking around a maze. At least it had no dead ends. When I got around the perimeter, I gave up and walked up the path. It actually resembled the Labyrinth I pictured above. It seemed like I would hit the middle right from the start. I thought that would be a little too easy. (It was here I started to notice parallels to my spiritual journey) instead, the path veered away from the center. It wound around one side and then the other. At one point, I thought it was going to spit me out, that I had missed a turn somewhere, (another parallel), but I was wrong. The next time it seemed like that, I knew better and was less anxious (parallel there too.) I could see where people had tamped the grass down where they had given up their walk.

Throughout the walk, I spoke to God about the things that had happened to me throughout my life. I cried some. But the whole time I felt very reassured by His close presence and His love for me. Somehow, by my obedience and His gentle prodding, I was able to release the years of hurt into His care. He really showed me my mother’s intense brokenness.

After I made it to the center, I sat for a few minutes thanking and praising Him. Then, I went to a tree I had been eying and sat underneath it. I looked up at the branches and started almost immediately thinking about the fact that I had already been grafted in as a child of the Lord. That I was to remain abiding in His ways and trust He was walking me down the right path, no matter what it looked like. He reassured me that I shouldn’t give up, but continue where He had laid my path. He also reminded me of the passage in Ephesians, where He had spoken to me before.

“In love, He predestined us to adoption as sons (and daughters) through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will,” Ephesians 1.5

He adopted me from my past. Not so I could abandon it, or forget it ever happened, as that would negate a good portion of my life. But God has adopted me as one of His own, and He has healed my wounds, and wiped my tears. I will do well to remember that.

a public confession

Confess:
1: to tell or make known (as something wrong or damaging to oneself): ADMIT
2 a: to acknowledge (sin) to God
3: to declare faith in or adherence to: PROFESS
4: to give evidence of1 a: to disclose one's faults; specifically: to unburden one's sins or the state of one's conscience to God
2: ADMIT, OWN

The Old Testament book Leviticus talks about sin offerings. In those days, if a person sinned against the Lord, they would bring an unblemished animal to the priest, and the priest would make atonement for the person with the ‘sin offering,’ or the ‘trespass offering.’ The Mishnah, or the oral traditions of the Old Testament, records the confession as something like the following:

"O Lord, I have committed iniquity, transgressed, and sinned before you, I and my house. O Lord, forgive the iniquities, transgressions, and sins, which I have done by committing iniquity, transgression, and sin before you, I and my house. As it is written in the Torah of Moses, your servant, 'For on this day shall atonement be made for you to cleanse you. From all your sins shall you be clean before the Lord.’

I think it may have been easier to drag an animal to a priest than to confess my sins and transgressions to my fellow brothers and sisters. In the New Testament, we are told to ‘confess our sins to one another.’ (James 5.16) How can I tell people the truth that lurks inside?

“To long for relevance, success, effectiveness, and glory – this is not just a slight misunderstanding of the Gospel, but its very betrayal. It is not error. It is, according to Jesus, satanic.” Jesus Mean & Wild Mark Galli

How can something like that lurk inside me? How can I walk around on a daily basis, seemingly humble about my job cleaning my church, while thinking to myself how God is wasting my time and talent? I keep a constant cycle of thought running in my mind, ‘Oh, if I could just share my ideas and vision with this church, how we could all benefit!’ When Lord, are you going to get me off the bench?

So, with this kind of self-glorifying vile running through my head, how can I tell something this? They would think I was slime. Where’s a goat when I need one?

“For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. but when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3.3-7

Well, I guess the goat isn’t necessary anymore. I came from that world. I believe that it would be betraying the Gospel if I wanted to work for the Lord because I thought I could do it better than the people who do it now.

Jesus said, “It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before Him in their worship. God is sheer being itself – Spirit. Those who worship Him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” John 4.13-14

I want to serve the Lord because of what He saved me from. I was a wreck, as those of you who read this already well know, and He pulled me up from the gutter. And the grave. My desire to serve Him comes from that gratitude, from the pure mercy He extended to me. I am not looking to glorify myself. Although, to be totally honest, in my humanness it feels good to go from someone who most people had written off to a completely different person. I am proud of myself for finishing college and going for my Master’s. And I think that’s okay as I point the glory to my Father.

So I confess, I have a big dream to serve my Father. One of them is lived out by writing this blog. Another is to help people know that they too can be themselves before the Lord too.

Resistance is futile

Yield
2: to give or render as fitting, rightfully owed, or required 3: to give up possession of on claim or demand: as a: to give up (as one's breath) and so die b: to surrender or relinquish to the physical control of another: hand over possession of c: to surrender or submit (oneself) to another e: to relinquish one's possession of (as a position of advantage or point of superiority 2: to give up and cease resistance or contention

It has been relatively easy for me to be yielding throughout my life. Despite warnings and shelter from my mother, I yielded my body to sex. Despite my involvement with ‘Just Say No’ programs I yielded myself to drugs. Despite my faithful and caring partner, I yielded to the ‘grass is greener’ temptation and had an affair.

If we have been united with Him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him. The death He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6.5-11

Ok. So, after I surrendered my life to Christ, I was fixed, right? I should no longer have to worry about my temptations. Why do the old cravings come around to haunt me?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Romans 7.14-24

Paul tells us in this scripture that we were born to sin; in Adam, but then we die and come to life in Christ. A pastor I read likens it to black slaves in the 19th century. Babies are born into slavery never knowing any difference. When they were freed, the slave owners would still try to act as if they were their owners and treat them as such. They would act as if nothing had changed, and the now freed slaves would go about business as if nothing had changed. For example, if a slave owner were to raise his hand, a slave would flinch. So, he says, we stand there with the keys in our hands while the shackles are put back on us. It is not an excuse to sin; it is a reality of the world that we currently live on. The Christian problem, that Paul is trying to flag us of, is that if we try to find the do-it-yourself book to solve this sin issue, we are sure to fail. Not ‘it’s possible to fail’, but sure to fail. This is a spiritual problem. It is only the cross of Christ that can rescue me from that sin nature, nothing else.

When I read Paul again, I could really understand what he was trying to carve into those pages. I could imagine his agony at becoming the Lord’s, and dedicating his whole life to utter devotion and service; only to find a horror living inside that won’t go away. The more I try to self-help it away, the more I try to law and reason it away, the more it grips its claws in with a firmer grasp, satisfied that it’s death-grip will last forever on this earth. I can picture Paul, thumping at his chest, tears running down his cheeks, trying to figure out a way to get it out, hating sin, loving Christ. Then I can picture Paul, looking up at an imaginary cross in his mind, seeing his beloved best friend, his Savior, and positively knowing that the only way to escape this awful sin nature, this awful slavery that we are born into is to fall back into those arms that are spread open waiting to catch us. And then Paul and I realize that the only way that the Christian comes to the end of herself and truly takes up her cross is to quit the struggling and let go.

Paul wrote this so that people like me would read it two thousand years later and be secure in the knowledge that I am not schizophrenic, but instead coming to the end of myself. He wrote this so I would not try to box myself into a set of rules that I could not stick to, and start to hate myself when I failed. He wrote this so I would not try to do the work myself.

Marvel in Fear

1: one that causes wonder or astonishment 2: intense surprise or interest: ASTONISHMENT
1. wonderful thing: something that inspires awe, amazement, or admiration


I am currently involved in a Bible study with some friends from church. We are studying the book of Romans, which you may recognize as the book that most resonates with my soul. We were discussing the first chapter, where Paul writes about how God was reacting to people who knowingly rejected His message. I mentioned that people who do not have a fear of the Lord will not do well.

A little while after I said this, I was asked to define my meaning of ‘fear.’ She wondered if I meant ‘afraid.’ I said I did not.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1.7

Fear means to attempting to comprehend the marvelous Creation He displays. Fear means to tremble at the very fact the He knows your name. Fear means being in awe of his awful (awe-full) patience with those of us who sin. Fear means trying to grasp words like, ‘grace,’ ‘holiness,’ ‘perfect righteousness,’ ‘glory.’

Fear is being able to read the part in Psalm 103 where David is telling us about the Lord’s character, and attempt to grasp where we fit into all of this:

“The Lord is merciful and gracious; slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103.8-14)

Above all else, I think fear of the Lord is being able to marvel Him for who He is and for His Sovereign Majesty. Well, now what does that mean? For me, the answer is much simpler than the dictionary definitions I looked up for ‘sovereign’ and ‘majesty.’ Honestly, they did not even come close to descriptive terms for God. So, I have a small list of words I believe does the Lord’s Sovereign Majesty a bit more justice.

‘I AM,” “The Ancient of Days,” “The Alpha and the Omega,” “Redeemer,” “Holy,” “The Light of the World,” “Salt,” “Glorious,” and “Marvelous.”

I can go from one end of the Bible to the other and every page screams at me to marvel the Living God.

“Thus says the Lord: ‘Heaven is My throne, and earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? and where is the place of My rest? For all those things My hand has made, and all those things exist,’ says the Lord. ‘But on this one I will look; on him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word.” –Isaiah 66.1-2

And so, what of the knowledge the Proverb spoke of in the beginning of this entry? Well, concerning God, fear and wisdom are connected. Once we are able to turn over our pathetic attempts at either thinking there is no God, or that we are god, we can begin to adore and worship the Lord for who He is and what He has done. Those who think they are wise on their own, that our lives are our own are indeed the foolish ones. We fear because we are able to marvel at the greatness of our God.

“Honor all people, Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the King.” -1 Peter 2.17

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear. – 1 Peter 3.15

When you look upon your relationship with the Lord, I pray that you can sense a healthy fear of Him. Because then, marveling, and worshipping and serving become all the more pure and of His own heart.

Far reaching


B: to pick up and draw toward one:
D (1): ENCOMPASS (2): to make an impression on


I am tough to reach when I am at work. Not because I work in a high-level capacity, but rather, because I wear my MP3 player while I clean the church. I started wearing the headphones a few months ago. I told myself it was because I did not enjoy the quietness, and the monotony of my job. However, I had another motive.

I am not very good at small talk. The pleasantries, you know, like, “How’s it going today?” and, “Boy it’s hot out,” make me uncomfortable. I know they’re going to pop up daily, I’m prepared for them, but I still make the most inane comments, “oh, hanging in there,” or, “good day to be indoors.” And, more often than not, I trip over some part of the inane comment and I feel like an idiot.

It’s gotten worse since my hospital stay. I never got used to people inquiring as to my health status. It happened just today. A lady asked me how I was feeling. She gave me a big hug. I said the standard, “yep, it was touch and go there for awhile.” Walked away from that interaction feeling like an idiot. But I made sure I said ‘thanks’ as I walked away.

Please don’t understand. I love the people I work with and who I interact with from the church. For the most part they are God-loving people with good intentions. I just can’t work with the small banter conversations.

Thus the headphones. I believe I used them to protect myself from feeling like an idiot, and I protect them from uncomfortable inanities. We both win. Right?

I find myself guilty of doing the same thing with Jesus. I feel inept, and so I cut off conversation. I surround myself with television, radio, books, anything to distract myself. Why?

I fear that I too often shut myself in my cocoon and I forget that God is trying to reach me all the time. I shut the door with my symbolic headphones and I forget He is in control, He knows the end of the story, the end of all our stories. I forget that I don’t have to worry about things for Him. He tries to tell me that He loves me with an everlasting love. He tries to remind me that I am His child, and that He was the one who reached for my hand first, and He got exactly what He was bargaining for.

This Psalm sums it all up for me. He reaches for us. All we have to do is take our headphones off and look around us. Feel the warmth of His arms around us. See, he’s not looking to have pleasant conversation with us. He’s looking to be the lover of our soul. He’s looking to tell us who we are in Him. Maybe I should try and listen.

Psalm 19
A David Psalm
1-2 God's glory is on tour in the skies,
God-craft on exhibit across the horizon.
Madame Day holds classes every morning,
Professor Night lectures each evening.

3-4 Their words aren't heard,
their voices aren't recorded,
But their silence fills the earth:
unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.

4-5 God makes a huge dome
for the sun—a superdome!
The morning sun's a new husband
leaping from his honeymoon bed,
The daybreaking sun an athlete
racing to the tape.

6 That's how God's Word vaults across the skies
from sunrise to sunset,
Melting ice, scorching deserts,
warming hearts to faith.

7-9 The revelation of God is whole
and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of God are clear
and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,
showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain
and easy on the eyes.
God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of God are accurate
down to the nth degree.

10 God's Word is better than a diamond,
better than a diamond set between emeralds.
You'll like it better than strawberries in spring,
better than red, ripe strawberries.

11-14 There's more: God's Word warns us of danger
and directs us to hidden treasure.
Otherwise how will we find our way?
Or know when we play the fool?
Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
Keep me from stupid sins,
from thinking I can take over your work;
Then I can start this day sun-washed,
scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.
These are the words in my mouth;
these are what I chew on and pray.
Accept them when I place them
on the morning altar,
O God, my Altar-Rock,
God, Priest-of-My-Altar.

Be engaged

1: to offer (as one's word) as security for a debt or cause2 c: to interlock with:
3: to bind (as oneself) to do something; especially: to bind by a pledge to marry5 a: to hold the attention of b: to induce to participate
6 a: to enter into contest or battle with
1 a: to pledge oneself: PROMISE b: GUARANTEE
4: to come together and interlock: be or become in gear

Years ago, you could have exchanged ‘engage’ for ‘entrap’ and I would not have noticed the difference. I got engaged the first time when I was twenty. I thought it was the most romantic idea, swept off my feet into a fairy tale. That didn’t last long. I started to see the relationship as a means to an end, never to look at the outside world again. When I went out with my friends, I would slip off the ring and hide it in my purse. I told myself it was just to see if I got any attention.

What I got was out of the relationship. It was four years before I became engaged again. This time, I knew it was right. This was the guy for me, and it would last forever. Then, the ring started finding itself in my purse again, and I started feeling claustrophobic again.

Luckily, he didn’t abandon me and we are now married. I realized that engaged did indeed me to bind myself to another, but it did not mean the end of me as an individual. My husband gives me the freedom to be who I truly am.

The politics and social issues of today’s world seek to engage me. I am caught up in the blowing winds of chaos and war and abuse all around the globe. I find myself carried by the tides and waves that threaten to slam me onto shore.

Here’s a short list of things currently holding my attention: AIDS, child abuse, child trafficking, the war, the White House, illegal immigration, global warming and who is to be the next President.

In the Bible, Paul addresses this very issue: “I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse…Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4.8-9

Do I do that? Do I engage God, rather than the world? Do I spend too much time worrying about the world crashing down around me rather than remembering that God is in control? Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not okay to check out of society; waiting on a hill, staring up at the sky for Jesus to come down. Instead, I should make sure I am focusing on God’s word, not man’s. I should be able to give God’s answer to what is good in the world, to acknowledge that God is still ultimately in control.

Jesus tells us, “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness?...You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.” Matthew 5.13-14

Jesus gave His life exactly as my Merriam-Webster describes it, to offer (as one's word) as security for a debt or cause. His cause is that people might see His love and His light shining through His believers and know the truth. And the truth is; we need to strive to live up to His standards, not the world’s. What does God say about the issues I worry about? Do you think He cares about the little children crying in their beds tonight because their parents just beat them? And do I have an obligation to do something about them if I know God’s heart?
3: to bind (as oneself) to do something; 4: to come together and interlock: be or become in gear. I need to remember to stay engaged with Christ, not with my wandering mind. The world will always strive to drive me away from what is true, what is right. And then I need to refocus and reflect on the words of comfort and engagement Jesus Himself offered me,

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11.28-30

Wait for it

1 a: to remain stationary in readiness or expectation
2 a: to look forward expectantly


We have been waiting for a long time. Tuning into daily news sends a sense of apprehension through me. We are waiting for good news on the war. We are waiting for some relief in global warming. We are waiting in anticipation for the fighting to end in the Middle East, especially Israel.

We wait to hear a newscast that does not include child abductions, child rape or child pornography. We wait to read a newspaper that does not include murder-suicide, or how high the murder rate is climbing in the city.

I apparently made a big mistake when I became a Christian. I prayed for patience, because I knew I needed it. Well, I was told the only way to develop patience was to be tried and tested.

“We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we are never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary-we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit.” Romans 5.3-5

Surprise: we all are tried and tested. That’s the way the earth is right now. Whether it’s feeling like our hands are tied, not able to help all the people who need helping, or thinking that there is simply no hope for the world at all.

It is easy to become a fatalist in today’s age. There seems to be one catastrophe after another, with no way to stop them. What is God waiting for?

“With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.” 2 Peter 3.8-9

See, I cannot give a good explanation why bad things happen. I know the basic answer, “His ways are not our ways,” and “Everything happens for a reason,” but I cannot even begin to comprehend God’s workings on this earth.

So, the only thing left to do is wait for the end. Define ‘end’ for yourself. But that’s where the mistake comes into play. That causes apathy. The definitions for wait listed above are examples of active waiting. Not just us waiting, in tears, not knowing what to do. But active waiting, knowing that no matter what things look like, God is indeed in control.

How do I know, you ask? Well, in my life I have seen His hand working through my situations. When I was a drug addict roaming the streets in the middle of the night. When I was determined to leave my husband and children for a ‘better life.’ God was the only One able to stop the crash course my life was one. I believe that with my whole being. When I thought things were hopeless, He saw the redemption on the other side.

And so, now I know the truth. And I can practice active waiting too. Things may seem bleak on a day-to-day basis, but I know that God has much to reveal to the world that will make these days pale in comparison. Check out what Paul says. It’s kind of long, but definitely worth the read.

“That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
“All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” Romans 8.18-28

And that my friends, is a promise I can cling to.