Love and Compassion Fatigue

     I was listening to the radio the other day when I heard the talk show host use a term I had not heard before.  The term was ‘compassion fatigue.’  
     It is a talk show I listen to occasionally; some of the host’s thoughts and comments intrigue me.  I was only half-listening that day however, because the topic of conversation was again turned to Hurricane Katrina.  
     Please do not misunderstand me.  I comprehend the blight surrounding the victims of this disaster.  I have contributed some things to the relief effort.  However, I cannot seem to escape some sort of daily commentary about this subject.  It is constantly a subject on the nightly world news, it is discussed on the radio, and it is everywhere on the internet.  And the issues these days always seem to run along the same vein; what is going to be done, what about the people, who is to blame, etc.  I see the images of New Orleans as it stands today and because I am in another part of the country far away from the city, I am amazed it still lies in destruction.  
     So, when the words ‘compassion fatigue’ were uttered, my ears perked up.  What was this about?  Well, it turns out that because of various reasons, people are starting to burnout.  But it’s not burnout.  It is seeing too much of a disaster that is too big to fix.  And in 2005, there were several gigantic disasters; the tsunami, the hurricanes and the earthquake in the Pakistan region.  All of these disasters have caused people to become overwhelmed at the catastrophes that happen to others.
     If it stopped there, things would be hard enough to bear.  But as sure as there’s
Free will and human nature, there is more.  Compassion fatigue is also stemming from a rash of phony charitable websites that sprung up all over the internet.  One site is funneling their proceeds into their anti-Semitic hate group.  
     There are also the disaster victims that figure out a way to abuse the system.  They are the ones that applied for and received several debt cards the government was giving away.  They are the ones that are causing crime rates in Houston to go up, welfare systems to be taxed, and so on.    
     Compassion fatigue is what the Dalai Lama calls ‘empathy’ and what I call Needing a Savior with Really Big Shoulders.  
     The Dali goes on to say, “It is the simple compassion a person experiences when they want to see another person free from suffering.” Empathy is the autonomic human response to the pain of another—and yes it can be physically exhausting when we experience too much stimuli without the spiritual wisdom to understand our experience.”
     Interesting thought.  Perhaps we have seen too much this past year, and we do not understand why these things happen.  Perhaps we also do not know how to truly comfort these people, how to heal their land, how to love their lives back.  When Billy Graham and his son Franklin were in the New Orleans area last week, it seemed like their visit touched the people there.  The show I watched featured a chaplain that was going door-to-door to visit the people rebuilding.  The people’s reactions were positive, at least on camera, and they said that know God is with them.
     I think compassion fatigue ultimately has to come to grips with why natural disasters happen.  It is easier to deal with disaster when you know that there is a God who is in complete control of all situations.  
     “’I [God] will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.’  It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” –Paul in Romans 9.15-16
     We cannot do anything to control the disaster itself.  We all should consider it priority number one to get to know Jesus.  He is the one who will carry the burden of disaster; He will suffer the cost for us if we lean on Him.  I can speak with absolute certainty that those words are truth.  It is not leaning on an imaginary, invisible person for comfort and support.  He is an actual, living God who will love and provide strength throughout struggle.  
     I think the key here is in knowing God never suffers from compassion fatigue.  He is the one to run to when things are too much to bear.
     “Do you not know?
     Have you not heard?
     The Lord is the everlasting God,
     The Creator of the ends of the earth.
     He will not grow tired or weary,
     And His understanding no one can fathom.
     He gives strength to the weary
     and increases the power of the weak.
     Even youths grow tired and weary,
     and young men stumble and fall;
     but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
     They will soar on wings like eagles;
     they will run and not grow weary,
     they will walk and not be faint.”
-Isaiah 40.28-31

what love is not

Once we figure out what love is, (as if that is possible); we must decide what love is not.  I thought it might be easier if we start by defining what love is not by looking at ‘traditional’ love relationships.  Then, we can move onto defining the love relationship we can have with our Savior.

So- love is not:  judgmental.  By the time we love another person, we should be past the point of assessing them based on our set of standards.  Love is not of a critical nature.  We should not find fault with our loved one’s every action.  Most importantly, love cannot be forced; not upon another, or forcing yourself to love someone.  

This is just a snapshot of ideas I came up with in the last hour.  Books and books have been written about how to love and how not to love.  Rather than waste your time reading my regurgitated words, let us see what the Bible says about love.  The text I am going to refer you to is a popular one.  You can find it at weddings, on nifty plaques you can hang in your home.  However, do you really remember what comes after, ‘Love is patient.  Love is kind.’?  Take a closer look at what comes next.

     “Love never gives up. (Love is patient.)
      Love cares more for others than for self. (Love is kind.)
      Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
      Love doesn’t strut,
      Doesn’t have a swelled head,
      Doesn’t force itself on others,
      Isn’t always ‘me first,’  
        Doesn’t fly off the handle,
      Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
      Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
      Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
      Puts up with anything,
      Trusts God always,
      Always looks for the best,
      Never looks back,
      But keeps going to the end.
(1 Corinthians 13.4-7)

I love this.  Do you see how many things love should and shouldn’t do?  And how many of them we neglect?  In fact, we sometimes find pleasure in doing the opposite.  That is especially true when we are focusing on protecting ourselves.

While I could spend hours on each line, I want to focus on just one tonight.  ‘Doesn’t force itself on others.’
I inadvertently think about that line quite often.  I think about it because I question God why people are allowed to get away with so much.  I hear blasphemous music on the radio, I know people say some rather blasphemous words, and they are still standing, prospering even.  That is one of my biggest ‘why’ questions.  

I think about my life.  How awful I was for so long.  Wouldn’t life have been easier if Jesus could have taken over my life from the beginning and saved me all the headaches?

But, if I were forced, would I have known it?  Would I have cared?  Worse yet, would I have loved Him back?  I would like to say yes, but I know that I am only trying to justify the easy way out, and thus blame Jesus for my old life.

And so, while in another blog I will reveal that Jesus is certainly not passive; He is nonetheless patient.  He is a gentle man when it comes to this love; in love with us from a distance, waiting for us to discover and love Him too.  If He forced love upon us, if He demanded our attention that would not be love; it would be slavery and coercion.

Love needs to be something both sides agree on.  Jesus already has agreed to love you.  You the blasphemer, you the atheist, and of course, you the sinner.  He is just waiting for us to discover that we love Him too.

this kind of love (part 3)

As I was reflecting on this last blog in the ‘love series,’ I was listening to the radio.  It appears that Extremists were threatening to blow the Palestinian Bible Society in the Gaza Strip if they did not leave by February 28.  The Bible Society did not leave, and the building was blown up today.  While I admire their courage for being there to begin with, the very idea that they stayed with the threat looming over their heads is amazing to me.  Their response to the whole bombing things is utterly astonishing.  They look forward to God furthering their territory and to planting many churches in the coming year for Christ.  Another thing: from their own mouths, “One sign of hope that the staff found was the discovery, among the blackened debris, of a shelf of Bibles and copies of the Jesus film untouched by the fire.”

If that is not a representation of Christ’s love, then I am at a loss.  And there are things like that going on all over the world everyday.  It is not necessarily on a global scale like that.  Some people take a step of faith just telling the people they meet.  

But why?  What would cause people to take these risks for God?  Perhaps there are clues in the Word.
“This is what God does.  He gives his best-the sun to warm and the rain to nourish-to everyone, regardless:  the good and bad, the nice and nasty.  If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?  Anybody can do that, if you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal?  Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that…Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”  Jesus in Matthew 5.45-48

I want to share the lyrics of one of my favorite songs.  It is by the David Crowder Band if you want to rush out and get a copy.  That I would highly recommend.  The title of this song, and the CD, is ‘Collide.’

“The breaking makes a sound I never knew could be so beautiful and loud, fury filled and we collide.  So courageous until now, fumbling and scared.  So afraid You’ll find me out, alone here with my doubt.  Here it comes, a beautiful collision is happening now.  There seems no end to where You begin and there I am now You and I collide.  Something circling inside, spaciously You fly, infinite and wide, like the moon and sky collide.  Here it comes now.”

I love this song.  You’d need to hear it set to get the full effect; but the idea is there.  When I first became the Lord’s, Christian music was uncomfortable to me.  It took me months to be brave enough to sing along.  The music is so passionate, so vulnerable.  It sings of a God who is Great, who is Majestic, who is Love.  The reason why singing along made me uncomfortable was because when I sang, it felt like Someone was listening.  And I felt like I should mean what I say.

Now that I am so mature (ha-ha), I tend to veer away from Christian music for periods of time.  Whenever I do, my soul and spirit start to wither.  Seriously, it does.  I have come to realize that Christian music are all love songs.  It does my heart and soul good to sing these songs because I love Him.  Am I great at showing Him my love?  No, not really.  But that’s okay too, because He’s absolutely perfect at loving me.  Now I sing along at the top of my lungs, like a child.  


DO YOU HAVE PROOF THAT HE LOVES US?  

Why yes I do.  Thanks for asking!


“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me.  Make yourselves at home in my love.  If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love.  That’s what I’ve done-kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.”  Jesus in John 15.9-10

“Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one.  Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it?  When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me!  I’ve found my lost sheep!’  Count on it-there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.”  Jesus in Luke 15.4-7

One more.

“By now it was noon.  The whole earth became dark, the darkness lasting three hours-a total blackout.  The Temple curtain split right down the middle.  Jesus called loudly, “Father, I place my life in you hands!”  Then He breathed His last.” Luke 23.44-46

Intimate.  Rejoicing.  Dying for us.  This is the kind of love worth pursuing.  I can guarantee there’ no love like this you have ever experienced before.  Or will again.  Think about it.  

melting away (love part two)

In my last blog, I wrote about the need to love ourselves before we attempt to love another.  My mentor and closest friend had the wisdom to remind us of a scripture that tied all of these ideas together; Jesus says to love one another as we love ourselves. (Mark 12.31)  I think it’s easy to focus on the first half of that verse, but not on the second.  If I focus all my attention on others around me then I don’t have to pay any attention to my issues.
However, if I haven’t examined myself; if I haven’t fully realized that I am only a sinner in need of a Savior, then I will start to think I’m better than others. Instead of loving others as myself, I may start to have pity, which is the result of judging, isn’t it?  It is certainly not a result of realizing how depraved I am.   I think that’s why in another verse Jesus says,”It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.  Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you’ when your own face is distorted by contempt?  It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part.  Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.” (Matthew 7.1-5)  He makes it abundantly clear that I need to love myself first.  However I feel about myself is what I am going to project upon another.  I say that is reason enough to get it right with ourselves before we attempt anything else.

Ok, once we have attempted to conquer the arduous task of loving ourselves, it is on to loving others.  Once you begin this task, it makes more sense why the Creator, in His infinite wisdom would want us to be right with ourselves first.  People are not always the easiest to love, are they?  I am married to a person, and even he’s not on his best behavior one hundred percent of the time.  And surprise surprise, neither am I.  

Paul tells us in Romans 12.9 that “Love must be sincere.”  On a simple level, Paul is merely saying to be honest and genuine, a fine idea.  But if you look at the root meaning, you see even more.
The word "sincere" comes from Latin. If you break the word down, you have "sine" (without) "ceres" (wax). When marble columns were being cut from the quarry, often nicks and cuts would mar the marble surface. Stonecutters would put white bee's wax in these cuts to hide the blemish from an unsuspecting buyer. Of course, once the stone was in place, the hot sun would melt the wax causing the blemish to appear.  
So, to be sincere you need to be without wax:  you have to be the real deal to those around you.  To love with the gloves off.  I have to resist my natural urge to listen to others’ problem while making my own problems sound so minimal.  I think love would be so much more real if I could testify to the same junk that another goes through.  

One more thing.  The following is a list of ways we are to love another;
“Therefore…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Paul in Colossians 3.12-14)
Throughout the Bible, the word compassion is used dozens and dozens of times.  The Lord Himself has much compassion for each and every one of us. Thank God that He is willing to come down to us with our dirt and our bull and gently wash us clean.  I like how Miriam-Webster defines compassion, ‘sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.’  We should be with our friends, our neighbors where they are at, in their place of vulnerability.  

If we love with compassion and sincerity, aren’t we getting as real as things get?  I think there’s enough bull in the world, enough ‘wax’ covering our blemishes.  It is time to let those melt away and reveal our true selves.  Think about it.  

the arrows of love

As if to assume I am qualified to start a ‘series,’ I am about to do just that.  I was pondering the subject of love today, (go figure) and rather than cram all my ideas into one enormous confusing blog, I will separate it into three confusing ones.

Ok, so that blathering aside, my first thoughts are about myself. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about your mate, right?  Well, in this case I opt to discuss me instead.  The premise is very simple, if I am bothered by myself, if I am combatant toward the very person who is to love another, I will be completely unsuccessful at any outward gestures.

When Jesus captured my heart, my heart was rather skeptical toward the whole idea.  I may have alluded to this before; but my counselor’s idea of looking to God to be the father I never had went over poorly at best.  I think that may have set my relationship with God farther back to be honest.  Fathers were to be distrusted and I wanted nothing to do with another one.  
I got over that and started to look at God with a different reflection; the Alpha & the Omega, I Am.  Those were powerful, take-charge kinds of ways to look at the Creator of the Universe. Those names seemed to be more fitting for a God I could get to know, to get used to having in my life.
However, what I ultimately needed to realize is that the problem lied within me, not Him.  I had to realize that I was afraid of letting in another father; that the idea of a gentle shepherd scared me inside.  I was looking for something fierce because that was what I was accustomed to.  I was afraid because I might actually start to believe that He cared about me.
I still am.  When things go wrong in my life; when things really start affecting my pride, my self-esteem, I retreat.  Rather that stand strong, knowing my Father has my back, I slide back into the familiar.  For me, the familiar is the ‘nothing can hurt me’ ostrich pose.  Of course it’s self-defeating; I know that.  Heck, I knew that when I was a drug addict.  To be brutally honest, I thought I was in control because I knew I was self-destructive, but I just didn’t care.
So for me right now, I have a problem that I need to deal with.  Of course, God is still there with me.  As I write those words, I have to actually take a leap of faith to believe that; but I know it’s true.  But this is an issue that I need to take apart and explore.  

So for Valentine’s Day this year, take some time to make sure you love yourself.  Check for mental roadblocks that prevent you from loving your Father as much as you should, and more importantly, from receiving the love that you so desperately need.  Loving yourself makes it easier to let go, to release that false sense of control you think you have, to stop retreating.  

Until then, here’s some reassurances for us all.  Peace in abundance to you all.

“All you saints!  Sing your hearts out to God!  Thank Him to His face!  He gets angry once in a while, but across a lifetime there is only love.  The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.”  Psalm 30.4-5

“Oh, thank God-He’s so good!  His love never runs out.  All of you set free by God, tell the world!  Tell how He freed you from oppression, then rounded you up form all over the place, from the four winds, from the seven seas.” Psalm 17.1-3

DO NOT TRY TO ADJUST

The picture you see above is currently on display in an art gallery in New York. I did not post it upside-down by the way, it is portrayed the way the artist intended. And yes, that image is of Osama bin Laden.
If you were to see the entire print, you would read along the edges words like 'terrorist' and 'infidel' along with some references to Nazis. This is an artist rendition of Jesus Christ. To this artist, He is a terrorist. The painting is still on display at the time of this posting. The building has not burned to the ground and the artist is still alive.

I have watched the violence continue to unfold since my last posting. I was hopeful at seeing the information I posted being reported on the evening news. I was thinking that perhaps news of an actual Muslim Iman trying to fan the flames of violence and hatred with his own pictures would turn the tide of opposition a little.
I was shocked and dismayed to find out otherwise. It seems that the media believes Islam is a religion that has been oppressed and ridiculed so much that all of this protesting is justified. Sure, they condemn the actual violence, but they point to the recent riots in Paris as a symptom of segregation and racism.

This whole issue angers me. It's not the kind of anger that will send me into the streets with a gun or even a placard, but I am angered at how quickly Christianity is ridiculed and condemned. We lose our rights to pray in public, to display our Savior, and in some areas, we have lost our rights to some of our Bible. If we care too much about an issue, like abortion or even the environment; we are dismissed as right-wing and fundamentalist. Let's not even discuss marriage laws; we're too close-minded to have a discussion. We are lumped together with republicans and Pat Robertson, and we are laughed at. The values that our founding fathers had, that our nation has flourished with, are thrown out as archaic and oppressive.

Well then, why should Muslims be surprised to be lumped together with the terrorists? They don't deserve their individuality any more than I do. They also deserve it as much as I do. The media has no distress when they report on Christianity with a 'them' mentality, but they seem to have remorse for the actual peaceful practioners of Islam. I am so tired of this double standard. It would almost seem that Christianity, and Jesus in particular, strikes a chord in people. This chord is so unsettling that it causes defensiveness and the urge to flee.

So then, the reason I don't fight? Because despite what the world around me may say, or may look like, I know God is truly in control. Names will never hurt me, not really. I am a child of the King, and I will let Him defend all of us in His own time. Which I have no doubt will happen. Until then, I'll just keep content knowing the truth.

PAUL MAKES MY POINT FOR ME...

"[But] God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see; eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of His divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat Him like God, refusing to worship Him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in His hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand." Romans 1.18-23

A THOUSAND WORDS

I thought about writing this particular blog for quite a while. I really wasn't going to include my voice in the world arena. There has been so much written about the Mohammed cartoons; why should I add my opinion to it? The Dannish newspaper seem to have made their point, haven't they?I decided that there's more to talk about. As I listen to the rhetoric being blasted all across the media waves, I can't help but reflect on the other parts of the story.

I am a Christian, as you are well aware. While I watch the coverage of this story, and I watch violence erupt, I think about two things: how Christians are represented in media and government, and what our reaction is to said coverage.

There were several other small protests across Afghanistan on Wednesday, including one in Kabul. Hundreds of university students, including women, marched peacefully through the capital, chanting "Death to the Dannish! Death to Americans!" Foxnews.com

When did it become peaceful to chant about the death of another group of people? Is it peaceful because they weren't carrying guns and shooting up armies and civilians?

In an attempt to be unbiased and fair, the Danish newspapers have now decided to run cartoons about the Holocaust. The cartoons are from the Iranians, drawn in retaliation. I can only assume we are next.

But haven't we been in cartoons already? It can only take a minute for me to find editorial cartoons satirizing God, Jesus, and Christianity in general. We are the source of inspiration for comedians, talk show host and news anchors. Politicians take shots at us, and courts remove any representation of us from the public square that they can.

If were to take extreme offense for every cartoon drawn about our religion, there would be anarchy. So why don't we? According to the media and sources like Newsweek; we are the religion of intolerance, of bigotry, of hatred and of suppression. Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance, right?

The Turkish president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, was quoted in the Turkish press saying: Caricatures of prophet Muhammad are an attack against our spiritual values. There should be a limit of freedom of press. Junkyardblog.net

But here's what happens to Christians on a weekly, if not daily basis somewhere in the world.

The New York City schools policy states that the display of secular holiday symbol decorations is permitted and lists as examples the menorah and the star and crescent. But the policy specifically excludes the display of the Christian Nativity scene.The city argues the menorah and star and crescent are permissible symbols because they are secular, whereas the Nativity scene must be excluded because it is purely religious. Junkyardblog.net

Despite our portrayal, we persist in sharing the Message we have been given. Because we're human, some of us tend to skew the lines by being rather intolerant, I don't deny that. But to my knowledge, in the modern era of humanity, we haven't insisted on a mass uprising against the rest of the world. Instead, we have chosen to act as light in a world that has increasingly become dark. The world of Islam appears to have other motives on their agenda. According to the story that is unfolding below, if your religion isn't making enough ground on its own, try to fan fires of discontent and strife.

A lot of this "spontaneity" was clearly staged. The cartoons gained a wider audience when radical Danish clerics toured the Middle East last month, showing the offending cartoons to the heads of several of the major Islamist groups in the region. Just in case the originals weren't offensive enough, the clerics also supplied a few of their own cartoons, ever more inflammatory, and said they sprang from the pens of the infidels. One of the clerics, Ahmed Abdel Rahman Abu Ladan, explained in an interview that the tour was meant to "internationalize this issue." The clerics told their hosts that Muslims do not have the right to build mosques in Denmark, and repeated other ridiculous lies to foment discord and ridicule the Danish government. powerlineblog.com

TODAY'S POINT

I only can point to the words of Jesus for my point today. We can point fingers back and forth, as we have been doing since the Crusades, and each side will claim superiority and the fast track to heaven. But, I ask you to consider how the followers of Jesus conduct their day to day life, and how we 'peacefully' handle ourselves.

"You're blessed when you can show peoplc how to cooperate instead of compete or fight." Jesus in Matthew 5.9

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. " Jesus again in Matthew 5.10

"Not only that-count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens-give a cheer even!-for though they don't like it. I do!" Jesus in Matthew 5.11

I want you to also remember one other thing that Jesus said, and it's important.

"I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. NO one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well."

Think about it. I'll have more on this subject Friday.